Kris Interview! A New RPG in the Works?!

As a White Mage Kris gets his MP from Cindy's unhappiness. 

Here is the interview many were waiting for! Mainly just Kris and I. We go deep down into the dirty world of RPGs and people get put into their classes. So get ready to be schooled. Are you more of  a White Mage? Bard? Summoner? Hooker? Pick your class wisely or we'll do it for you.

Richard (9:13:56 PM): Good evening Kris! How are you this night?
 
Kris Zoleta (9:14:11 PM): I am doing well
Kris Zoleta (9:14:23 PM): I just finished a Board meeting, so I am feeling great.

Richard (9:14:59 PM): Did you just put yourself on mute and watch anime?
Richard (9:15:03 PM): I would of.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:15:09 PM): Nah, it was a good meeting
Kris Zoleta (9:15:16 PM): Not to mention this season of anime is not that good
 
Richard (9:15:44 PM): Not as good as Arnoldo covered in butter?
 
Kris Zoleta (9:16:06 PM): Yeah, that is a pretty apt description.
Kris Zoleta (9:16:18 PM): But I think Arnolo might prefer margarine

Richard (9:16:30 PM): Have you seen the anime Princess Jellyfish?
 
Kris Zoleta (9:16:43 PM): That is like the only anime series I didn't watch

Richard (9:17:11 PM): Wow, it happens to be the only series I did watch.

Kris Zoleta (9:17:17 PM): If you recommend it, I may since you have the golden touch,
Kris Zoleta (9:17:35 PM): I mean, you have a hit rate of 100%

Richard (9:17:59 PM): It is about a crazy jellyfish addicted shy girl living w/ other creepy otaku women.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:18:21 PM): So it is basically about Allen
 
Richard (9:19:05 PM): If Allen was beautiful after taking off his glasses off and plucked his eyebrows then, yes.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:19:26 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:19:37 PM): And if a dragqueen started to fall in love with him then, Yes.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:19:38 PM): But his eyebrows are endearing
Kris Zoleta (9:20:10 PM): It is like Sam's ability to steer a conversation into One Piece
Kris Zoleta (9:20:19 PM): Even if it has nothing to do with One Piece
 
Richard (9:20:25 PM): They are like the hungry caterpillar
Richard (9:20:47 PM): Sam just randomly mentions pirates
Richard (9:20:58 PM): and starts to yaoi pair the characters up
 
Kris Zoleta (9:21:04 PM): You could be talking about eating pizza and somehow Sam would tie that into One Piece
Kris Zoleta (9:21:15 PM): I loved the question you had about Yaoi pairings
 
Richard (9:21:27 PM): mainly Usopp and Chopper is what he enjoys
 
Kris Zoleta (9:21:43 PM): I don't recall seeing a One Piece pairing in the Yaoi gathering in Anime LA.
Kris Zoleta (9:21:55 PM): .....but of course I was pretty far away

Richard (9:22:19 PM): U need  request that special pairing

Kris Zoleta (9:22:28 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (9:22:34 PM): That is a very special one to say the least
 
Richard (9:22:54 PM): It should just be Franky and Chopper
 
Kris Zoleta (9:23:02 PM): How would that work?

Richard (9:23:30 PM): It would be some sort of animal/mecha sex explosion



Kris Zoleta (9:23:43 PM): Ha ha ha

Richard (9:23:47 PM): Sam can appreciate these things
 
Kris Zoleta (9:23:57 PM): Didn't Franky get new arms in the new arc?
 
Richard (9:24:10 PM): Franky looks the worst after the 2yr jump
 
Kris Zoleta (9:24:15 PM): Yeah
Kris Zoleta (9:24:19 PM): At least the girls look great

Kris Zoleta (9:24:29 PM): Nami looks so much better with long hair

Richard (9:24:29 PM): Robin is second becuase she got rid of the bangs
Richard (9:24:39 PM): but she is still brown
Richard (9:24:44 PM): so -5 points
 
Kris Zoleta (9:25:01 PM): She could fly to Japan and get that whitening cream they sell
Kris Zoleta (9:25:06 PM): That will be the next story arc
 
Richard (9:25:23 PM): She can go to Cambodia and buy it too.
Richard (9:25:30 PM): Except it burns the brown off
 
Kris Zoleta (9:25:45 PM): Ouch
Kris Zoleta (9:25:58 PM): So the story arc after that will be Robin stuck in the hospital

Richard (9:26:14 PM): then they get a new girl to replace her.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:26:25 PM): It would be nice if they had more girls
 
Richard (9:26:44 PM): They should replace Robin with David.

Kris Zoleta (9:26:49 PM): I was still disappointed that they don't have more female members.
Kris Zoleta (9:27:02 PM): What would David's powers be?
Kris Zoleta (9:27:25 PM): He would fit in pretty well with the straw hat pirates

Richard (9:27:28 PM): passive aggressiveness
 
Kris Zoleta (9:27:41 PM): those are some intense powers
Kris Zoleta (9:27:51 PM): Almost as great as his powers of indifference
 
Richard (9:27:56 PM): He ate the MamaMama fruit
 
Kris Zoleta (9:28:01 PM): LOL

Richard (9:28:17 PM): or drank from the same cup as his mother
Richard (9:28:28 PM): then inherited them from her.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:28:32 PM): .....and then she beat him afterwards
Kris Zoleta (9:28:37 PM): which is how he gained his powers
 
Richard (9:28:43 PM): He can also give Asian Eyes of Dissapointment

Kris Zoleta (9:28:53 PM): That is powerful
Kris Zoleta (9:28:58 PM): It can take down a whole empire
 
Richard (9:29:05 PM): One glance and you are full of shame and regret
Richard (9:29:20 PM): then your penis falls off
 
Kris Zoleta (9:29:29 PM): Damn, that is an evil power
Kris Zoleta (9:30:00 PM): Does he ask his crew members to choose between engineering or business?
Kris Zoleta (9:30:15 PM): ...or else he will use his powers.

Richard (9:30:20 PM): Then he picks CIS
Richard (9:30:29 PM): and makes his mother cry a million tears
 
Kris Zoleta (9:30:36 PM): ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:30:44 PM): that's how the milky way was formed billions of years ago

Kris Zoleta (9:30:50 PM): But his mom is omnipotent
 
Richard (9:30:54 PM): true story
 
Kris Zoleta (9:31:10 PM): If Sam was in One Piece, what would be his power?
 
Richard (9:31:30 PM): Great White Light
Richard (9:31:39 PM): he ate the CrakaCracka Fruit
Richard (9:31:52 PM): What would your powers be?

Kris Zoleta (9:32:01 PM): I don't know
Kris Zoleta (9:32:09 PM): They would be some boring ass power
Kris Zoleta (9:32:15 PM): Like the power to argue for hours
Kris Zoleta (9:32:35 PM): or to negotiate
Kris Zoleta (9:32:42 PM): Aka the Asian Father fruit

Richard (9:32:59 PM): Asian Father Fruit is like the Asian Mother Fruit
Richard (9:33:05 PM): but with physical abuse rather than verbal

Kris Zoleta (9:33:13 PM): LOL 
Kris Zoleta (9:33:29 PM): I can use verbal also
Kris Zoleta (9:33:48 PM): Asian fathers can do both
 
Richard (9:33:48 PM): that's because you came into the contact w/ David's mother 
Richard (9:34:50 PM): What would Sarah's power be? 
Richard (9:35:01 PM): Divine Dark Night?

Kris Zoleta (9:35:13 PM): Hmm....
Kris Zoleta (9:35:33 PM): That sounds super strong
Kris Zoleta (9:35:43 PM): Like Sailor Pluto
Kris Zoleta (9:36:09 PM): but not as strong as Sailor Saturn
 
Richard (9:36:15 PM): She just carries a Sharpie with her to color herself in. Gaining incredible chocolate powers over darkness.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:36:24 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:36:36 PM): And by default all of Africa, except South Africa.
 
Kris Zoleta (9:36:48 PM): I still think Sarah should cosplay Sailor Pluto
Kris Zoleta (9:36:54 PM): Manga Version
 
Richard (9:37:19 PM): She needs to coplay as Sam's gf
 
Kris Zoleta (9:37:53 PM): That would stop lots of guys from hitting on her at Anime Expo
 
Richard (9:38:02 PM): just her w/ a cigarette
 
Kris Zoleta (9:38:10 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:38:15 PM): the only change

Kris Zoleta (9:38:16 PM): I wish I could cosplay
 
Richard (9:38:23 PM): Who would you cosplay as?

Kris Zoleta (9:39:59 PM): It would be hard for me to crossplay
Kris Zoleta (9:40:39 PM): I think it would be easier for David

Richard (9:40:58 PM): His thighs are too fat
Richard (9:41:10 PM): he can only cosplay as Chun-Li

Kris Zoleta (9:41:28 PM): Man-Li is the best Chun-Li anyways

Richard (9:41:53 PM): Man Chun-Li has big old thighs 
Richard (9:42:15 PM): Sam would love to get choked with those thighs.

Kris Zoleta (9:42:16 PM): Not unless you have someone else in mind for crossplay
Kris Zoleta (9:43:08 PM): I don't think we have people we know that can convincingly crossplay
 
Richard (9:43:26 PM): Only me I guess

Kris Zoleta (9:43:34 PM): Yeah, you were pretty good
Kris Zoleta (9:43:51 PM): Your Margaret Cho is spot on

Richard (9:44:05 PM): and that was just me in a wig
 
Kris Zoleta (9:44:18 PM): If we got in her the room she would probably freak out
 
Richard (9:44:31 PM): then try to seduce me
Richard (9:44:42 PM): then I would have to stick Sarah on her
 
Kris Zoleta (9:44:46 PM): LOL
Kris Zoleta (9:44:59 PM): Speaking of seducing, when are you guys going to do more Richard and Company?
Kris Zoleta (9:45:05 PM): I want to join in on the craziness
 
Richard (9:45:29 PM): when I can get a good place to shoot.
Richard (9:45:48 PM): Might just do it during Lunar New Years.

Kris Zoleta (9:46:05 PM): That would be awesome, I will be there in Lunar New Years

Richard (9:46:09 PM): Owww!

Kris Zoleta (9:46:11 PM): Give me a fish, I will make it happen

Richard (9:46:17 PM): My pussy just clawed me!

Kris Zoleta (9:46:25 PM): Just claw her back

Richard (9:46:34 PM): I just slapped my bad pussy
Richard (9:46:44 PM): BAD!
Richard (9:46:53 PM): ::slap::slap:::

Kris Zoleta (9:47:02 PM): Ha ha ha

Richard (9:47:24 PM): What class would you put us if we all were in a RPG?

Kris Zoleta (9:47:31 PM): Let's see....
Kris Zoleta (9:47:41 PM): Sarah and Cindy = Fighter
Kris Zoleta (9:47:50 PM): David = Black Magic

Richard (9:47:51 PM): so you would make them lesbians?

Kris Zoleta (9:47:56 PM): Richard = Bard
Kris Zoleta (9:47:59 PM): LOL
 
Kris Zoleta (9:48:09 PM): Dustin = Summoner
Kris Zoleta (9:48:14 PM): Me = White Mage
Kris Zoleta (9:48:23 PM): Cyril = Theif
 
Richard (9:48:33 PM): Cyril is the bard
 
Kris Zoleta (9:48:44 PM): So what would you be?
 
Richard (9:48:48 PM): w/ all that dancing
 
Kris Zoleta (9:49:00 PM): Allen = Priestess
 
Richard (9:49:14 PM): Sexual Therapist
 
Kris Zoleta (9:49:28 PM): That is one heck of a party
Kris Zoleta (9:49:35 PM): We could save the world right now

Richard (9:49:48 PM): a cross of a white mage and slut

Kris Zoleta (9:49:58 PM): Ha ha ha

Richard (9:50:03 PM): Only that I charge to heal the party
 
Kris Zoleta (9:50:09 PM): So you are the sexual therapist?
 
Richard (9:50:10 PM): I summon a bed
Richard (9:50:25 PM): then the screen goes black
 
Kris Zoleta (9:50:30 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:50:35 PM): you only hear moans and cries
 
Kris Zoleta (9:50:38 PM): But then your party can't see also
 
Richard (9:50:57 PM): they have special glasses to watch me heal
Richard (9:51:04 PM): or they would go blind
 
Kris Zoleta (9:51:07 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (9:51:34 PM): I just find it funny that the token two females are the ones who will be doing all the physical attacks.
 
Richard (9:51:42 PM): like if they saw Arnoldo and Sam intertwined in a passionate explosion of nastiness.

Kris Zoleta (9:51:43 PM): While all the guys have silly classes
Kris Zoleta (9:51:55 PM): Eww.....MENTAL PICTURE
 
Richard (9:52:00 PM): Mine is the last class you can unlock
 
Kris Zoleta (9:52:25 PM): So what class are you before the Sexual Therapist?
Kris Zoleta (9:52:46 PM): Don't tell me you are just the Slut class
 
Richard (9:52:51 PM): Street Hooker
 
Kris Zoleta (9:52:56 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (9:53:04 PM): At least we don't need to fight monsters to gain money
 
Richard (9:53:13 PM): I'm a slut that is in the Street Hooker class

Kris Zoleta (9:53:13 PM): We just send you to the streets

Richard (9:53:28 PM): I come back with bags of gold

Kris Zoleta (9:53:33 PM): Nice
Kris Zoleta (9:53:52 PM): Where should be go first to save the world?
 
Richard (9:54:02 PM): Rite Aid
Richard (9:54:13 PM): To free Allen and get him into our paty
 
Kris Zoleta (9:54:22 PM): So we can get our Priestess?

Richard (9:54:44 PM): She is held behind the castle of ice cream
 
Kris Zoleta (9:54:45 PM): The party starts off with just you and me, a White Mage and a Street hooker
 
Richard (9:54:52 PM): HAHA!

Kris Zoleta (9:54:52 PM): That is like a crazy starting party
 
Richard (9:54:56 PM): I like it already
Richard (9:55:03 PM): I should write the story
 
Kris Zoleta (9:55:11 PM): The story writes itself
Kris Zoleta (9:55:32 PM): I just realized I didn't give Sam a class
Kris Zoleta (9:55:35 PM): What is Sam?
 
Richard (9:55:41 PM): Everytime I contract STDs you have to use Clense on me
 
Kris Zoleta (9:55:50 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (9:55:53 PM): or I won't function
 
Kris Zoleta (9:56:11 PM): So I have to use Cure 3 on you all the time
Kris Zoleta (9:56:21 PM): or Esuna
 
Richard (9:56:21 PM): and go into a confused poisoned state
Richard (9:56:35 PM): only when I find a John

Kris Zoleta (9:56:41 PM): What is Sam's class?

Richard (9:56:53 PM): my ability is to pass it onto an enemy
Richard (9:57:08 PM): Hmmm....
Richard (9:57:20 PM): Sam would be the Fencer
Richard (9:57:27 PM): a Gay French fencer
 
Kris Zoleta (9:57:29 PM): He would have the princess laugh
Kris Zoleta (9:57:40 PM): He has to have the princess laugh
 
Richard (9:57:40 PM): with a giant hat w/ a feather on top
Richard (9:58:00 PM): with his fan
 
Kris Zoleta (9:58:04 PM): Nice
Kris Zoleta (9:58:20 PM): On his off time he fans us
 
Richard (9:58:29 PM): What would Dustin summon?

Kris Zoleta (9:58:36 PM): That's a good question
 
Richard (9:58:40 PM): Anal beads to whip enemies?
 
Kris Zoleta (9:58:46 PM): Ouch

Richard (9:58:48 PM): 0.o
 
Kris Zoleta (9:59:05 PM): Don't forget that David has very low MP
 
Richard (9:59:43 PM): He has to use MP Suck on Dustin to replenish his own MP
 
Kris Zoleta (9:59:51 PM): Yeah
Kris Zoleta (10:00:02 PM): As a white mage I will just use an Ether bottle
 
Richard (10:00:03 PM): He uses it even if he doesn't need the MP
 
Kris Zoleta (10:00:21 PM): Although we don't tell David that we got Ether bottles
 
Richard (10:00:23 PM): You just drink a RedBull
Richard (10:00:37 PM): of course not. They cost 2 bucks each
 
Kris Zoleta (10:00:50 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Richard (10:01:13 PM): I can't use my abilities to get gold that often.
 
Kris Zoleta (10:01:14 PM): I think we would be a great RPG party
Kris Zoleta (10:01:40 PM): That's okay, we can just go to the next town
 
Richard (10:01:52 PM): sounds good. I like new streets

Kris Zoleta (10:02:04 PM): Unlike Final Fantasy XIII our world has towns
Kris Zoleta (10:02:09 PM): Woohoo!!!
 
Richard (10:02:11 PM): What would be call the game?
Richard (10:02:37 PM): and now one has Australian accents!
 
Kris Zoleta (10:02:43 PM): We should call it Richard and Company: The game
 
Richard (10:02:44 PM): *no one
Richard (10:02:58 PM): Tales of Richard & Company

Kris Zoleta (10:03:09 PM): Ha ha ha

Kris Zoleta (10:03:24 PM): Does it have a racist subplot too?
Kris Zoleta (10:03:33 PM): What would be the main theme of the story?
Kris Zoleta (10:03:42 PM): Every good story has a strong central theme
 
Richard (10:04:02 PM): How Sarah is shunned by her people for loving Cindy when they were cadets together.
Richard (10:04:20 PM): on the Love Boat
 
Kris Zoleta (10:04:42 PM): Yeah, but you know that people will have totally random Yaoi pairings
Kris Zoleta (10:04:51 PM): Like Sam x Right Hand
Kris Zoleta (10:04:58 PM): or Left Hand x Sam
 
Richard (10:05:04 PM): Richard x Richard

Kris Zoleta (10:05:14 PM): How does that work?
 
Richard (10:05:26 PM): I go into drag mode

Kris Zoleta (10:05:33 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (10:05:48 PM): So it is Richard without a wig and Richard with a wig?
Kris Zoleta (10:05:50 PM): LOL

Richard (10:06:05 PM): the player equips me with wigs instead of armor
Richard (10:06:09 PM): YES!
 
Kris Zoleta (10:06:16 PM): That should be your transformation
Kris Zoleta (10:06:21 PM): When you power up
Kris Zoleta (10:06:49 PM): Without a wig you are regular Richard, then you transform with a wig and then you turn into Street Hooker Richard
 
Richard (10:06:56 PM): My hair gets bigger w/ more sparkles

Kris Zoleta (10:07:09 PM): Your transformation sequence is also 10 mintues
 
Richard (10:07:34 PM): w/ no option to skip unless you beat the game 69 times

Kris Zoleta (10:07:43 PM): The bad guys fall asleep before your transformation sequence
Kris Zoleta (10:07:52 PM): ....then we attack them
Kris Zoleta (10:08:11 PM): Who will do the music?
Kris Zoleta (10:08:48 PM): Will it just be Sam on a keyboard, pressing random notes?
 
Richard (10:09:04 PM): just me humming during the game

Kris Zoleta (10:09:15 PM): Ha ha ha
 
Kris Zoleta (10:09:46 PM): So you will be like that guy in Police Academy?
Kris Zoleta (10:09:52 PM): The one that does all the sound effects

Richard (10:09:58 PM): w/o the black

Kris Zoleta (10:10:34 PM): That sounds so awesome, you better have a good running soundtrack
Kris Zoleta (10:10:50 PM): since we will run for approximately 60 seconds before you get tired

Richard (10:11:14 PM): I get tired then the rest of the game is just my commentary

Kris Zoleta (10:11:19 PM): In the story, do you have a love interest?
 
Richard (10:11:20 PM): in my head

Kris Zoleta (10:11:56 PM): What would be the big plot twist?
Kris Zoleta (10:12:04 PM): Every RPG has a big plot twist
 
Richard (10:12:05 PM): I fall in love in everytown
Richard (10:12:10 PM): like Brock from Pokemon
 
Kris Zoleta (10:12:16 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (10:12:26 PM): You better not have your eyes closed
 
Richard (10:12:35 PM): mine are big and beautiful
Richard (10:12:44 PM): Brock is too Korean w/ them eyes
 
Kris Zoleta (10:12:57 PM): Did he ever open his eyes?
Kris Zoleta (10:13:03 PM): He was like in 1000 episodes
Kris Zoleta (10:13:08 PM): did he ever open his eyes?

Richard (10:13:28 PM): only when he jizzed in his pants

Kris Zoleta (10:13:42 PM): Speaking of that, why does Ash never become the pokemon master?

Richard (10:13:55 PM): because he is forever 12
 
Kris Zoleta (10:14:08 PM): After 1000 episodes you would think he would accomplish something in his life
 
Richard (10:14:14 PM): and keeps releasing his pokemon instead of selling them
 
Kris Zoleta (10:14:21 PM): Stupid Ash 
Kris Zoleta (10:14:28 PM): Ha ha ha
Kris Zoleta (10:14:41 PM): What story arc is Sam in now?
 
Richard (10:15:24 PM): Him falling in love w/ Brock
 
Kris Zoleta (10:34:06 PM): Holy crap, I just noticed how long this interview is
Kris Zoleta (10:34:15 PM): You will need to split it into two or something
 
Richard (10:34:16 PM): it ended hours ago
Richard (10:34:18 PM): lol
 
Kris Zoleta (10:34:21 PM): Oh, it did
Kris Zoleta (10:34:23 PM): LOL
 
Richard (10:35:04 PM): thanks for the interview

Kris Zoleta (10:35:11 PM): No problem