Tuesday, December 28, 2010

2011, Year of the Rabbit...or Cat?

I'm year of the delicious beef.

2011 is approaching fast and I need some resolutions! Yet, what should they be? I am already such a nice person that if I was even more nice the balance of the world would tip into chaos. IS this what the Mayans were talking about for 2012?! I think it was the Mayans or was it the Aztecs? or the Jalapenos? Who really knows what the future will bring, but I do know that you do have some control over it. So if you don't want to get pregnant then you should probably not open them legs, and have a penis fall into it. Then fall back out then in again. That's what you must not do. Good thing that can't happen to me. It better not happen to me. I am not wearing stretch pants.

Talking about pants, don't you just hate people who wear skinny jeans? Girls I can maybe understand (what I can't understand is wearing Uggs and a mini skirt). But guys who wear them are just stupid. Why would you want to show off your scrawny ass chicken legs? Balls so tight in there cheese starts to grow. Maybe I am jealous, or maybe I know better. I don't have chicken legs(more like turkey legs), but I do eat and enjoy chicken legs at dim sum restaurants.

Year of the Cat is not amused.

Back to the new year! 2011 is the year of the rabbit. Apparently it is the cat that replaces the rabbit in the Vietnamese zodiac. Since the symbol for rabbit sounds like cat in Viet. it got translated that way. Wikipedia you better not be lying to me about this. I can't take anymore lies from random websites. I would rather have a year of the cat thought, but there is already a giant pussy on the zodiac. Year of the tiger is already there and one loud pussy is enough. It even has fangs. Who is from the year of the rabbit? I know a few and they are not the luckiest ones. Better care a rabbit foot around with you. I wonder how they both taste? Mmmmm...Hot pot.

What should some of my resolutions be for the coming year? More school? being more sexy? Find a sugar daddy? Not make fun of Arnoldo and Sam as much? Hmmm.. too many choices.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry X-Mas!

How did everyone's X-mas go?

Hope it went well for everyone. My most memorable gift was Wonder Hangers from as seen on t.v fame. I guess it works, but my closet was fine w/ all my clothes crammed in it. It just looks more organized, but other than that it hangs pretty low so I lost space on the closet floor. In the end it didn't save much room, but it's too late since I have all my clothes up now. I just looked up some reviews on it at this moment and they said the same thing. So since I got them as a gift it's fine, but you shouldn't buy them for yourself. Maybe that upside down tomato plant grower would be better? You know your tomatoes are going to fall off and make a mess on the ground. Upside down plants are just not normal and go against my beliefs.

What am I doing now? I guess product reviews. So if you have a product that you would like tested and reviewed by me then please send me a message, and we can work something out. IF you know your product is already crap then please don't send it to me knowing it will only get made fun of by me.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Lost Photo Rediscovered!

Who is this beautiful woman?
I just went through my archives and recently found this striking image of an unknown woman. I will use all my reporting and and sleuthing skills to find out who she is. By the look of the picture it seems she must be long lost beauty from the El Salvadorian jungles. The mole does not lie, as it seems to indicate she is of high social status. While the white glove seems to promote the idea of safe sex with the no glove, no love rule. I will keep everyone updated with more finds as they are discovered. I promise I will get to the bottom of this in a sexy way.   

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Game Review - 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors

All these 9's and only 6 endings?

I have been playing a new game on my DS and it happens to be this one. I was first attracted the the cover art because it was done by Kinu Nishimura who also did character designs for Capcom vs SNK and Street Fighter III. The story of the game is pretty interesting and enjoyable. Like the title of the game there are 9 persons trapped on a ship with 9 hours to escape by looking for the 9 doors. With each door having a puzzle to solve in order to advance the game.

Junpei and June. What the hell is she wearing?

The game is basically a visual novel and you will spend most of the time reading through the story before you can advance to the next door and puzzle. This game of course has all the typical cast of characters you would find in many movies, anime, and manga. The young male hero, the kind sweet weakly girl, older mature daddy type, big goofy guy, smartass mouthed kid, moody little girl with pink hair, prince type, skanky bitch, and creepy little man. Throw all these people on a mysterious sinking ship, forced to play a game to the death and there you have it. The story is good and of course you have multiple endings according to what doors and answers you pick through out the game. To get the good ending you have to play through once and can get it through the second playthrough. It's lucky that you can scroll through the text you already read from the first playthrough. 
I would of been wearing this if I was in the game

I spent many hours playing the game and it was hard to put down. I kept telling myself just a little more dialog and story. Before I realized it was past midnight. Now if I was on this ship all hell would of broken lose and I would of just went crazy. Like some of the characters do. Of course I didn't want to play it more than twice to get the good ending. So thanks to online walkthroughs! Haha, At least there was no cheat code for unlimited money like my friend always uses. I recommend this game for people who like a good survival horror mystery with a puzzle thrown in here and there.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

It's That Time of Year

I'd be crying too

How is everyone doing this holiday season? Are people still shopping for presents? I know I am, and I'm about to just say screw it and make people presents. Hmmmm.... I probably will since X-mas is less than a week away now. But if you are in that giving mood please contact me as to inquire how to donate to the Feed a Richard Cause. It is an all year round charity that goes to pay for food and my schooling. Do I have to sit in front of Macy's and ring a bell w/ a bucket?

The holiday season is also when suicide rates go up so please don't get all emotional and end your life. Do something and make it better. If you want company on that day let me know and we can work something out. I am not a professional masseuse, but I will massage your loneliness away ::wink:: Please no old or chubs. send pic to receive. lol. I'm kidding don't send pics of yourself, just money will do fine.

Friday, December 17, 2010

PELE! Goddess of Dustin's People! Bless HIM!

   
Nope, Nope, Shoobie Doobie Doooooo...

I would like to wish another friend HAPPY B-DAY!!!! Dustin TAMA-CHANNNN!!!! To quote Dustin, "Nope, nope, nope!" Sorry, ladies! Dustin doesn't play on your team. If he was to play sports, let's say softball (hehe) i'm not sure if his position would be catcher or pitcher. I guess it's good to be versatile (hehe). Matter of fact I don't think Dustin likes sports other than watching Rupaul's Drag Race. I'm not sure how old he now, just that it is probably close to 37 or something. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm usually not on these things. Dustin is the older sister type in that he's older, nothing else. I bet the whole state of Hawaii has a holiday in his honor. Throwing virgins and coconuts into the volcano to appease the horny goddess. Pele! Goddess of the volcanoes and Dustin's tan people, bless him with success and joy! For he is your son made of the brown soil of your lovely island lady lumps which spew out molten lava milk from your warm mounds!!

I hope that David gets you a giant shaved ice cake for your b-day, and if not what kind of gf is he? Not one that appreciates your shaved ice culture with your loco moco like I do. Loco moco is a plate of rice w/ a hamburger patty on top covered in gravy. Hmmmmm.... now I want loco moco w/ shaved ice for dessert. What was I talking about again?

Thursday, December 16, 2010

SAM HE AM!

Falling in Love



I would like to say happy B-DAY! to my friend Sam. I have known him for too many years, and also had to live with him.  WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (MEN)?! Sam is available for a good time, so if you would like to go for a ride on this choo choo train then contact me for the info and naughty pics. Don't miss out on possibly a free meal. Most likely you will have to go Dutch on the meal. Sam likes watching funny videos all night on the computer and wearing his one pair of purple underwear. Snatch this man up before he expires!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Finger Licking Good Sarah!

Ohhh Guuuurrllllll....


I'm going to start my NEW section in this blog and start to unravel the many layers of people. I will try to examine what makes people tick AND tock. My excellent journalism skills will be put to the test as I tackle my first assignment. SARAH!

You may know her as Storm from X-men. Well in my Asian eyes she is Storm, African Cocoa Goddess of the Skys! Just without all the weather powers. But she does have a taser gun that she uses for her ultimate LIGHTNING STORM ATTACK! it's just her repeatedly stabbing you with the taser gun, but it works all the same. I've know Sarah (aka Storm) for many years now. I'm not sure how many years, maybe a few, but I don't want to count them. Sarah looks harmless... wait no she doesn't! Sarah can put you in a choke hold between her legs and crush your head like a nut. A Brazilian nut at that! AND still lick the bbq sauce off her fingers! Mad props!

From my sources (can't reveal who! thanks Allen!) Sarah is a part-time killer for hire. She is such a skilled ninja that she doesn't have to even wear black. All she needs is a Sharpie marker to color herself in turn raising her deadly powers, and her Versace sunglasses. Yes! she wears sunglasses at night. That's how much of a badass she is. A ninja that goes on missions around the world taking out all the rap stars that have gotten too famous.  2pac, Biggie Smalls, Left Eye..... I don't know any other rappers, sorry. Lil Kim? is she dead? Probably. She infiltrates all the rappers by becoming close to them, when she gets them alone she unleashes her Lightning Storm to knock them out! Only to put them out of their misery with her 2 Piece and a biscuit THIGHS OF DEATH! Know by her ninja name Dilly Dil. She hides in the shadows waiting for her next assignment. I hope it's Nikki Minaj.

I can say no more as she can be lurking anywhere at night. ANYWHERE! Hmmm... better turn on the lights.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - Storm Character Reveal

Who is excited for the game? With the line up so far i'm not that excited like I want to be. Of course we all know that Storm would make it in the game. We all know I enjoy me a little Storm, and they should of just throw Elena in here too on the Capcom side. Then we can get the party started. She has her older costume, but i'm not sure I enjoy it as much as her sexy silver one from my memories of the 90's cartoon most are familiar with. Either way you better not mess with a chocolate woman that controls the elements of weather. She can make it hail ice on your house, electrocute your ass, or blow your car away with a tornado. Don't make the mistake of breaking up with her.

Now only if they just put Jubilee in there it would make my day. She can blind you with sparkles then run over and slap you.

Oh yeah they also announced C.Viper, but no one really cares about that other than one person I know. Also why does She-Hulk wear velcro shoes? Isn't she a lawyer? She can solve important cases, but not tie her shoes.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Another Monday...

Another Monday has come and gone, but it was a good one. ::Gasp:: Am I updating this thing? Are people even reading? Probably not reading, but I am updating it.

Happy B-day to my friend Kris!!

Today was enjoyable since I got to spend time w/ a couple of friends. Sam and Oanh took the time to drop by all the way down here to hang. Thanks! Hope you enjoy the donuts! I don't know how many glazed donuts Sam got. Probably about four in that dozen. There is nothing really to do where I am living now. I thought I could escape from coming back to where I grew up, but I guess not. I'll try escaping again soon. Since they drove down to see me it was my turn to drive, and we went down to the Temecula mall area. Since the only thing to do in this town is go to the Super Walmart (which is bigger than the mall) and watch old people shuffle through life then fade away. I had to grow up here and all they have pretty much is old people and nothing much else. I think I knew all the old people down my street when I was younger. I'd go to their house and help them with chores or just hang out. There was probably two or three other Asian families that I knew growing up here, and that probably explains why it is fascinating to see so many Asian people now as I moved away. I felt I was the only one growing up really. Oops, did I go off topic? I dunno if I did or not.

After hanging at the mall we went for dinner! My stomach was starting to hurt since I hadn't eaten since lunch time. I was getting some lady cramps or something. Hope I'm not pregnant. If I was I would just sell the baby to a rich family. How much would I get? I wouldn't give birth in some dirty bathroom then go back to reading manga like that crazy Japanese woman. Luckily that baby made it somehow after being put in a trash bag.

She needs to be on Oprah before she is done w/ her talk show. 25 years of seeing  Oprah was on TV is long enough and it is about time she takes a break. Wait, but now she is getting a network? Bitch! OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) She already owns the minds of most women in America. Talking about fearing failure with her TV network. With all that money my network would just be old reruns of black shows like Family Matters, Living Single, and The Jeffersons. Not The Cosby Show! I think that was the only unfunny black family show in history to me. Probably because they had their stuff together, even with the 5-8 children Bill Cosby had on that show. You all know that is unbelievable. Even more unbelievable than a black man w/ a fat wife who owns a cleaners! The Jeffersons should of been The Kims or The Lees. Maybe just have the Asian family own a grocery store in the ghetto. You know that would of been a hit show in the 80's.

What was I talking about again? Monday or something? My fingers hurt from all this typing so I'll end it here for now.

Thanks for reading my Sexy Thoughts!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sorry that brb was almost 5 years

I almost forgot I even had a blog! Since reading other peoples' blogs are boring I thought I might just as well do my own and just blog about the randomness that I enjoy. Let me think of somethings to blog about then i'll get back to you all. All three people who read this. I promise that it won't take 5 years this time. Maybe....