Little people living under the house!!!! What?! I'd be so scared! Arrietty is a 14 yr old little "Borrower" but really she's stealing shit from under your nose. Studio Ghibli who brings some of my favorite movies such as Kiki's Deliver Service and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind adds another wonderful movie to their ranks.
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| Shouldn't she be wearing green or something? Silly midget. |
Arrietty lives with her Jew like mother who is always worrying, and her boring father who probably doesn't get any from his wife since she's too busy being frantic. Now that's she the right age to officially steal from the humans or "beans" she goes out with her father to "borrow" some sugaaaaaa, but of course she fucks up big time and get's spotted by the sick human Shawn who was dumped by his workaholic mother at his aunt's home. THEN, THENNNNNN she even drops the sugar cube!! You dumb bitch! There is a button on your stupid pouch for a reason! I hate her already so much that I could care less about if she get's eaten by the fat cat.
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| "Bitch, I see you and your little stupid light!" |
A secret sexual relationship starts to form between Shawn and the little skank Arrietty! That is soooo wrong since she is probably big as his sickly penis. I guess she would be big enough to hug his penis? Dirty, more dirty if you just pictured it in your head. Shame on you! But because of this horrid sexual connection that the two form it brings danger to her family. The crazy ass house keeper Hara is really the best part of the movie, and what I enjoyed most of all. Hara swears she isn't crazy, but you know the old bitch is when she hires exterminators to trap the tiny family. Shawn's stupid act of tearing off the little family's roof to give them midget family a new kitchen arouses Hara's sexual nature to uncover the truth! The worrying Jew mom with all her paranoia OF COURSE is the one to get captured by Hara in a glass jar to be made into an ancient sexual love elixir to bring back her lost lover who ran away with the Mexican gardener.
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| "Do these glasses make me look cray cray?" |
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| "Bitch, i'm gonna stick you somewhere no man has ever been!" |
Arrietty screws up her happy family's life because she can't control her lady urges, and now mama midget is captured! What is a girl to do? OF course she rides Shawn! in a boring way :( on his collar, and not his.... well, you know........ Anyway in the meantime they find and free mama Jew. Hara begins to lose her mind as she has lost any proof of her sanity, and threaten to burn the house down to the ground to kill all the little borrowers. Soon she is shot in the ass by the cops and taken to the men's prison where she becomes the Aryan gang leader. Arrietty and Shawn share a tearful goodbye, as they will never know the pleasure of each others bodies. The tiny family makes it down the stream in a tea kettle to a whole new world.....a few houses down.
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| "I am not a Jew, RICHARD! I'm Italian!" |
Most of what I said didn't actually occur in the film, but if it did maybe I would of loved it more. I'll direct the next Studio Ghibli film that will be based on true story of an Asian donut shop owner in the ghetto.
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| The movie is basically this old cartoon from my childhood! Minus the rat like ppl. |
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