The Black Factor!

I think I know what I'm missing in life....a large black lady friend!!!! OHHHH, I want one sooooo bad! Going to start auditions for one. Instead of the X Factor it's going to be the Black Factor. Of course I will have a British accent! I need me a Paula...hmmmm who acts drunk all the time? Or I can just get a real drunk friend to play her role. We all want and need one because when you get into a fight you know your going to need one to back yo ass up! She could probably take 4 or 5 skinny bitches down by herself. We would eat KFC, Popeye's, and Church's  all the time and have so much fun watching BET. When we get mad at each other we will have hand snapping fights, and 3 hours of head rolling back and forth till one of us gets a neck cramp. I'm already thinking about all the good times we will have. Auditions will take place behind the K-mart. See you all soon!!

Must be same size or larger and come w/ own bucket of chicken!