Welll it looks that we have some votes that are now in and since i'm in such a good mood (not really I haven't eaten) also i'm at school w/ nothing to do I'll be sexy nice and update the total votes.
Destination:
Chinatown: 2 votes
Butcher Shop: 1 vote
Character:
Sam: 2 votes
Little Asian lady:1 vote
Also know that your votes don't really mean anything to me and i'll write about whatever I feel like at that moment i'm updating the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. In all it means that Sam will probably never make a guess apperance in the story unless we need to have some white people die. Since we killed off many, many Mexicans in last weeks episode be sure that many more white people will die, cause we all know they have it coming.
P.s
Sam you so fine you blow my mind, SAM!
P.s
Kris has won for best quote of the month!
"I want to see Tam handle some meat...uh oh..... "
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Take me down to Funky Town!
Did you enjoy the latest adventure of Tam? We'll you better of cause i'm not gonna take anyother answer except yes.
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
Gay Anime
And not the good kind either!
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
Friday, March 25, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 2
"A Touch of Paprika"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Character Profile: Tam
Full Name: Tam Burger
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
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