Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 2

"A Touch of Paprika"

Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.

"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"

Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.

"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"

Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.

"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"

A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.

Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)

"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"