Welll it looks that we have some votes that are now in and since i'm in such a good mood (not really I haven't eaten) also i'm at school w/ nothing to do I'll be sexy nice and update the total votes.
Destination:
Chinatown: 2 votes
Butcher Shop: 1 vote
Character:
Sam: 2 votes
Little Asian lady:1 vote
Also know that your votes don't really mean anything to me and i'll write about whatever I feel like at that moment i'm updating the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. In all it means that Sam will probably never make a guess apperance in the story unless we need to have some white people die. Since we killed off many, many Mexicans in last weeks episode be sure that many more white people will die, cause we all know they have it coming.
P.s
Sam you so fine you blow my mind, SAM!
P.s
Kris has won for best quote of the month!
"I want to see Tam handle some meat...uh oh..... "
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Take me down to Funky Town!
Did you enjoy the latest adventure of Tam? We'll you better of cause i'm not gonna take anyother answer except yes.
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
Gay Anime
And not the good kind either!
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
Friday, March 25, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 2
"A Touch of Paprika"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Character Profile: Tam
Full Name: Tam Burger
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Diary of a Sexy Fat Black Woman
Birthplace
Riverside : 2 votes
Canada: 1 vote
Destination
Chinatown: 1 vote
Black woman's home: 2 votes
More like her just her house anyways. By the overwhelming amounts of votes it seems that the home a strange black woman will be the next destination of our stinky hero Tam. How will he end up there? For what propose? what will the large black woman say? all these or none of these answers will be answered soon in the next sexy installment of Hobo-Erotic Adventures. Just let me warn you that when black women are present there is no way to know what will happen next or what she will say or even how fast her neck will move from side to side. All I do know is that fake hair extenstions and fake nails will be flying all over the place. Soo please stay tuned and watch out cause even you are not safe from being cut.
Riverside : 2 votes
Canada: 1 vote
Destination
Chinatown: 1 vote
Black woman's home: 2 votes
More like her just her house anyways. By the overwhelming amounts of votes it seems that the home a strange black woman will be the next destination of our stinky hero Tam. How will he end up there? For what propose? what will the large black woman say? all these or none of these answers will be answered soon in the next sexy installment of Hobo-Erotic Adventures. Just let me warn you that when black women are present there is no way to know what will happen next or what she will say or even how fast her neck will move from side to side. All I do know is that fake hair extenstions and fake nails will be flying all over the place. Soo please stay tuned and watch out cause even you are not safe from being cut.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Miracle Whip
Hello all three of you that probably read this blog. I hope that you had a chance to enjoy the first in a many party weekly series of the "Hobo-Erotic Adventures" staring are one and only Tam the hobo man. This week Tam was finally introduced into the mass public eye and apparently gave them all a bad case of pink eye. In the weeks to come I think that I will get the readers to help me out with setting the adventures up and what will eventually happen to out stinky hero of hobos.
First of all the name of the city that Tam was born in
1. Hobotopia
2. Stank Villa
3. Riverside, CA
4. Stench City
5. Poor Man's Pothole
6. Wal-Mart
7. Hobo A Go-Go
8. Dookkie Dook
9. Osaka, Japan
10. some where in Canada (where else could he come from?)
Nexy sexy adventure destination?
1. Wal-Mart Revisited (his cart broke down and he couldn't leave that day)
2. Chinatown
3. a few feet away (he broke a foot tripping on a dead cat)
4. In a black woman's home
5. a bus stop
There you are people! you will now be in charge of Tam's adventures and life, and if I don't get the results I wanted from your picks i'll just change them. Okay? yay!
First of all the name of the city that Tam was born in
1. Hobotopia
2. Stank Villa
3. Riverside, CA
4. Stench City
5. Poor Man's Pothole
6. Wal-Mart
7. Hobo A Go-Go
8. Dookkie Dook
9. Osaka, Japan
10. some where in Canada (where else could he come from?)
Nexy sexy adventure destination?
1. Wal-Mart Revisited (his cart broke down and he couldn't leave that day)
2. Chinatown
3. a few feet away (he broke a foot tripping on a dead cat)
4. In a black woman's home
5. a bus stop
There you are people! you will now be in charge of Tam's adventures and life, and if I don't get the results I wanted from your picks i'll just change them. Okay? yay!
Friday, March 18, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 1
"Always Low Prices"
The day started like it always did with the sun shining through the cut out window in the cardboard box. Yet this day was something much more different and Tam knew this. Tam is not your average everyday bum or hobo but one that takes it to a whole new level, and sometimes the levels can reach the sexy limits, but usually not since who would think that a homeless, bean eating, dirty guy is sexy? Especially one that likes to eat out of dumpster and rummages the left over food from peoples trays at Carls Jr. Not me of course, but if your one of these people please read on about the trials of redemption and hope that are Tam is searching for. The thing is that Tam was always hated by his peers in the ally behind Wal-Mart. He had only lived there a short while but the high class hobos didn't appreciated Tam's flare for old thrown always 80's clothes that he had found in a black man's trash can the other night.
"So what you think that your too good for the everyday low prices of Wal-Mart?"
"No!, no I've never said that. I love you guys and the alley behind the Wal-Mart!"
"What did you just say? You dirty little black 80's fruit pie!"
"That I liked you?....Hey! I'm not black I just haven't had a bath in a few months, and these clothes make my butt look much more smaller and brings out the color in my black eye that I got while chasing a cat that I wanted to cook for some hobo stew, but instead ran into a mailbox and rolled over into the ditch and was almost brushed to death by the gutter cleaning machine that comes every Friday night around two A.M"
The two hobos went on for a sixteen more hours late into the night and by the end they had no idea what they were fighting over, but all they knew was that it ended in a long dirty (really dirty) passionate love making session. There were trench coats and old cheese all over the back ally when the two were finished. Yet when Tam awoke from his dirty slumber on a trash bag filled with old Chinese food from next door he found that he was all alone in the ally. Was it a dream? Tam thought to himself. But the dirty mayo love making was soo real to him that he could still tase the tangy Mircle Whip that was used during the hobo bobo bumping. Tam leaped into the air and proclamed that he will never be used in such a way that he was the other night again without first charing for the booty bumping.
"I Tam hear by will never give away my sweet, sweet relish tasting vanilla white loving again with out first getting money. Fool me once shame on you, fool me eight times shame on you, but fool me 34 times shame on ME!"
Tam had made his decision to become the first ever hobo to treck the face of the earth on only his good looks (only in his opinion) and his sexy charms. He tightened the vacuum cord around his waist and tied on his bread bag shoes and was off into the unknow world. The sun of a new chapter in his sad, pathetic, moldy, unwanted life was shinning somewhat brightly and Tam was off to an all new adventure. The shopping cart he had stolen from Wal-mart was loaded with his belongings of Coke cans and toilet paper (really newspaper he had taken from a donut shop) and it was off he went.
"It's gonna be good time sfrom now on! Everything is coming up Tam!"
"Shut up you dirty bum!"
"I love you too! Wow! even the people are cheering me on!"
The day started like it always did with the sun shining through the cut out window in the cardboard box. Yet this day was something much more different and Tam knew this. Tam is not your average everyday bum or hobo but one that takes it to a whole new level, and sometimes the levels can reach the sexy limits, but usually not since who would think that a homeless, bean eating, dirty guy is sexy? Especially one that likes to eat out of dumpster and rummages the left over food from peoples trays at Carls Jr. Not me of course, but if your one of these people please read on about the trials of redemption and hope that are Tam is searching for. The thing is that Tam was always hated by his peers in the ally behind Wal-Mart. He had only lived there a short while but the high class hobos didn't appreciated Tam's flare for old thrown always 80's clothes that he had found in a black man's trash can the other night.
"So what you think that your too good for the everyday low prices of Wal-Mart?"
"No!, no I've never said that. I love you guys and the alley behind the Wal-Mart!"
"What did you just say? You dirty little black 80's fruit pie!"
"That I liked you?....Hey! I'm not black I just haven't had a bath in a few months, and these clothes make my butt look much more smaller and brings out the color in my black eye that I got while chasing a cat that I wanted to cook for some hobo stew, but instead ran into a mailbox and rolled over into the ditch and was almost brushed to death by the gutter cleaning machine that comes every Friday night around two A.M"
The two hobos went on for a sixteen more hours late into the night and by the end they had no idea what they were fighting over, but all they knew was that it ended in a long dirty (really dirty) passionate love making session. There were trench coats and old cheese all over the back ally when the two were finished. Yet when Tam awoke from his dirty slumber on a trash bag filled with old Chinese food from next door he found that he was all alone in the ally. Was it a dream? Tam thought to himself. But the dirty mayo love making was soo real to him that he could still tase the tangy Mircle Whip that was used during the hobo bobo bumping. Tam leaped into the air and proclamed that he will never be used in such a way that he was the other night again without first charing for the booty bumping.
"I Tam hear by will never give away my sweet, sweet relish tasting vanilla white loving again with out first getting money. Fool me once shame on you, fool me eight times shame on you, but fool me 34 times shame on ME!"
Tam had made his decision to become the first ever hobo to treck the face of the earth on only his good looks (only in his opinion) and his sexy charms. He tightened the vacuum cord around his waist and tied on his bread bag shoes and was off into the unknow world. The sun of a new chapter in his sad, pathetic, moldy, unwanted life was shinning somewhat brightly and Tam was off to an all new adventure. The shopping cart he had stolen from Wal-mart was loaded with his belongings of Coke cans and toilet paper (really newspaper he had taken from a donut shop) and it was off he went.
"It's gonna be good time sfrom now on! Everything is coming up Tam!"
"Shut up you dirty bum!"
"I love you too! Wow! even the people are cheering me on!"
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Watch Out Japan!
'Cause here I come!
This is a response to my friend Kris and his recent posting on his blog. That program almost sounds too good to be true. The thing that is going to happen is when we arrive there we will end up getting drugged and sold into male sex slave industry for the Japanese businessmen. Or not. That does sound like a good idea after getting out of college, and getting a chance to travel before we hit the work force. If this does work out it may be some good experience for all of us.
I can picture myself right now in the tiny Japanese apartments. I'll probably have to sleep standing up. Each time I turn around it will be anoter section of the apartment. The right is the bedroom, the left is the kitchen and behind me is the bathroom (but it has no bathtub cause it won't fit, so i'll have to hose myself infront of the apartments.)
This is a response to my friend Kris and his recent posting on his blog. That program almost sounds too good to be true. The thing that is going to happen is when we arrive there we will end up getting drugged and sold into male sex slave industry for the Japanese businessmen. Or not. That does sound like a good idea after getting out of college, and getting a chance to travel before we hit the work force. If this does work out it may be some good experience for all of us.
I can picture myself right now in the tiny Japanese apartments. I'll probably have to sleep standing up. Each time I turn around it will be anoter section of the apartment. The right is the bedroom, the left is the kitchen and behind me is the bathroom (but it has no bathtub cause it won't fit, so i'll have to hose myself infront of the apartments.)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Zombie Powder
Zombie Powder!! This was a great Manga by Tite Kubo also known for Bleach. The bad thing was that it was only 4 volumes long. I want to know what happens next! last volume left me wondering soo much. Mister Kubo you better get back to ZP and finish it up!
MOVIES!! ASIANS!! TELEVISION!!!
Don't you just like Asian movies better? All American films nowadays are basically the same w/ the same actors and all white people look the same to me, but then again all black, Hispanic, and Asian do to. The thing is that you just don't get to see Asian people as much as white people or even black people on TV. People who speak spanish get all these channels and even magazines on the stand before the checking out in a store, and even radio satations. Yet, Asian people are still stuck behind everyone else. I guess building that railrod for America wasn't enough huh? Funny how that it was back in the day where an Asian man would be arrested if he was to marry a white woman. LOL women are crazy in any color or race, so men one is just like the other and same goes for the fellas. So basically i'm saying that we should just do aways with marriage.
Back to TV I need some Asian people on TV PLEASE!! I sick of having to watch channel 18 to see asian people and not understand them because sometimes they don't have subtitles for me.
Maybe if I had more exposer to Asian people I would get all excited when I actually see them outside in public. lol I have the urge to follow them and make a big deal about it. Ohh why, ohh why?! I hate Asian people soo much, all those little beady eyes and little groups! ( can I join?) but no, seriously give me an asian family show. It can be something like Family Matters, but less black. Thank You
Have you seen the kids that are mixed with some vanilla? OMG! I hate them all lol... It seems that there look better then if there were just white or asian, but then the grow up all crazy and confused. I just hate them because I can't tell the difference if there one or the other. I guess they will be all Italian to me then if I can't tell the differnece.
"Well actually i'm White and Asian"
"well actually then you must be some kind of Italian"
"Actually I just staid that i'm..."
"DOn't start your dirty lies with me!"
"huh?! what the ..."
"Bitch!, ohh no you didn't, cause you about to get cut!"
"How did this happen? we started out talking about Chinese food"
Movies that I'm Waiting to see
Kung Fu Hustle-Stephen Chow
House of Fury- Daniel Wu
Initial D- Edison Chen
Memoirs of aGeshia- Ziyi Zhang
the list goes on, but i'm just gonna stop here because i'm tired of looking up how to spell the titles. I'm Asian, so I should be better at math but I suck in both. It's hard being beautiful isn't it? oh my, sorry. Only I would know. lol (I kidd, I kidd)
Back to TV I need some Asian people on TV PLEASE!! I sick of having to watch channel 18 to see asian people and not understand them because sometimes they don't have subtitles for me.
Maybe if I had more exposer to Asian people I would get all excited when I actually see them outside in public. lol I have the urge to follow them and make a big deal about it. Ohh why, ohh why?! I hate Asian people soo much, all those little beady eyes and little groups! ( can I join?) but no, seriously give me an asian family show. It can be something like Family Matters, but less black. Thank You
Have you seen the kids that are mixed with some vanilla? OMG! I hate them all lol... It seems that there look better then if there were just white or asian, but then the grow up all crazy and confused. I just hate them because I can't tell the difference if there one or the other. I guess they will be all Italian to me then if I can't tell the differnece.
"Well actually i'm White and Asian"
"well actually then you must be some kind of Italian"
"Actually I just staid that i'm..."
"DOn't start your dirty lies with me!"
"huh?! what the ..."
"Bitch!, ohh no you didn't, cause you about to get cut!"
"How did this happen? we started out talking about Chinese food"
Movies that I'm Waiting to see
Kung Fu Hustle-Stephen Chow
House of Fury- Daniel Wu
Initial D- Edison Chen
Memoirs of aGeshia- Ziyi Zhang
the list goes on, but i'm just gonna stop here because i'm tired of looking up how to spell the titles. I'm Asian, so I should be better at math but I suck in both. It's hard being beautiful isn't it? oh my, sorry. Only I would know. lol (I kidd, I kidd)
Saturday, March 12, 2005
A poll of the sexy kind.
Would the readers want a short story section titled "The HoboErotic Adventures"?
please leave a comment and your vote for a "yes" or "no"
I will leave the poll up till the end of the week and the decision will be made if I shall do a weekly short story.
please leave a comment and your vote for a "yes" or "no"
I will leave the poll up till the end of the week and the decision will be made if I shall do a weekly short story.
Online loneliness!
Hello all again. Here I am in front of the computer bored as hell. I've gone to all of my bookmarked sites and really running out of ideas of what to look up. (any suggestions?)
I got all dressed up today to get to the bank and it was freaking closed! who would of thought that it would be closed at 2p.m on Sat.? LOL it probably always has been closing at that time for years. I hate having to leave the house all the time, especially when its for a stupid reason as to doing little task and so on. The real reason is that I just hate having to drive. Why do the gas cost soooo freaking much? I think that it's probably Bush McBush. After the war your would think he would of taken all of the oil by now and the prices would go down. Or you would of though that instead of spending billions on the war that he would of just given it to me and say "ohh Richard my favorite Asian boy! Please take these few hundred billions I would of used on a retarded worthless war and get yourself a little something sexy." but noooo it was all used up and the country in now in an even bigger ass debt. LOL only four more years!
I should be really doing HW or studying right now but again it's Sat. and why do that and ruin my last day off? lol If I were one of them cooler kids I'd probably be out clubbin' or something and not home alone like always. Please someone save me from this!! I'll make it worth your wild... By baking you some cookies or something. I'll even use white chocolate! Oh yeah.. You know you want to take me out now huh? (soo sad)
I would like to thank my little Flippy friend KZ for giving me the inspiration to start my little own blog a MCJigger.
Oh KZ you so fine,
you so fine you blow my mind
GO KZ!!!
my own little cheer for KZ AKA Kris Zoleta is Betta than Chedda.
p.s KZ tie your hair in pigtails next week you will be the hot dog to the buns especially to Sam.
I got all dressed up today to get to the bank and it was freaking closed! who would of thought that it would be closed at 2p.m on Sat.? LOL it probably always has been closing at that time for years. I hate having to leave the house all the time, especially when its for a stupid reason as to doing little task and so on. The real reason is that I just hate having to drive. Why do the gas cost soooo freaking much? I think that it's probably Bush McBush. After the war your would think he would of taken all of the oil by now and the prices would go down. Or you would of though that instead of spending billions on the war that he would of just given it to me and say "ohh Richard my favorite Asian boy! Please take these few hundred billions I would of used on a retarded worthless war and get yourself a little something sexy." but noooo it was all used up and the country in now in an even bigger ass debt. LOL only four more years!
I should be really doing HW or studying right now but again it's Sat. and why do that and ruin my last day off? lol If I were one of them cooler kids I'd probably be out clubbin' or something and not home alone like always. Please someone save me from this!! I'll make it worth your wild... By baking you some cookies or something. I'll even use white chocolate! Oh yeah.. You know you want to take me out now huh? (soo sad)
I would like to thank my little Flippy friend KZ for giving me the inspiration to start my little own blog a MCJigger.
Oh KZ you so fine,
you so fine you blow my mind
GO KZ!!!
my own little cheer for KZ AKA Kris Zoleta is Betta than Chedda.
p.s KZ tie your hair in pigtails next week you will be the hot dog to the buns especially to Sam.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)