"Always Low Prices"
The day started like it always did with the sun shining through the cut out window in the cardboard box. Yet this day was something much more different and Tam knew this. Tam is not your average everyday bum or hobo but one that takes it to a whole new level, and sometimes the levels can reach the sexy limits, but usually not since who would think that a homeless, bean eating, dirty guy is sexy? Especially one that likes to eat out of dumpster and rummages the left over food from peoples trays at Carls Jr. Not me of course, but if your one of these people please read on about the trials of redemption and hope that are Tam is searching for. The thing is that Tam was always hated by his peers in the ally behind Wal-Mart. He had only lived there a short while but the high class hobos didn't appreciated Tam's flare for old thrown always 80's clothes that he had found in a black man's trash can the other night.
"So what you think that your too good for the everyday low prices of Wal-Mart?"
"No!, no I've never said that. I love you guys and the alley behind the Wal-Mart!"
"What did you just say? You dirty little black 80's fruit pie!"
"That I liked you?....Hey! I'm not black I just haven't had a bath in a few months, and these clothes make my butt look much more smaller and brings out the color in my black eye that I got while chasing a cat that I wanted to cook for some hobo stew, but instead ran into a mailbox and rolled over into the ditch and was almost brushed to death by the gutter cleaning machine that comes every Friday night around two A.M"
The two hobos went on for a sixteen more hours late into the night and by the end they had no idea what they were fighting over, but all they knew was that it ended in a long dirty (really dirty) passionate love making session. There were trench coats and old cheese all over the back ally when the two were finished. Yet when Tam awoke from his dirty slumber on a trash bag filled with old Chinese food from next door he found that he was all alone in the ally. Was it a dream? Tam thought to himself. But the dirty mayo love making was soo real to him that he could still tase the tangy Mircle Whip that was used during the hobo bobo bumping. Tam leaped into the air and proclamed that he will never be used in such a way that he was the other night again without first charing for the booty bumping.
"I Tam hear by will never give away my sweet, sweet relish tasting vanilla white loving again with out first getting money. Fool me once shame on you, fool me eight times shame on you, but fool me 34 times shame on ME!"
Tam had made his decision to become the first ever hobo to treck the face of the earth on only his good looks (only in his opinion) and his sexy charms. He tightened the vacuum cord around his waist and tied on his bread bag shoes and was off into the unknow world. The sun of a new chapter in his sad, pathetic, moldy, unwanted life was shinning somewhat brightly and Tam was off to an all new adventure. The shopping cart he had stolen from Wal-mart was loaded with his belongings of Coke cans and toilet paper (really newspaper he had taken from a donut shop) and it was off he went.
"It's gonna be good time sfrom now on! Everything is coming up Tam!"
"Shut up you dirty bum!"
"I love you too! Wow! even the people are cheering me on!"
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