X-Men Low Class

Even she would of made the movie somewhat enjoyable. 

Just a warning that I will spoil the movie for you if you read this. So you're welcome ahead of time because this movie was so bad and boring that I have suffered in your place for you. First of all Jubilee is not a main character in this movie as you would all of loved her to be. I know I was disappointed when the most yellow thing in the movie were Kevin Bacon's old teeth. Jubilee you are my teenage dream with your short middle aged Korean lady haircut, blue dish gloves and yellow raincoat. You can shoot your sparkles into my Asian eyes anytime. But be warned when I wink my sparkles will even blind the sun. Wait, what was I suppose to do again? Oh, yeah the film was so bad I rather talk about Jubilee, my Asian sparkle shaker.



First of all I will say that if you were expecting a sexy, slutty, bitchy Emma Frost you will only be disappointed by a bland white lady that likes to wear white with big Facts of Life Blair hair. She was so boring and lifeless in the role. I would of just tied her to a chair and made her crap out diamond for me to sell. I would have made such a better White Queen, psh forget that I'd be the Yellow Queen of the Hellfire Club and use my majong titles instead of cards like Gambit. Move over White Bitch, there's a new Yellow Bitch in Chinatown.

I'm not sure what I disliked most about this film. Was it the bad action sequences? Horrible character development or the lack of it for the other mutants? How misogynistic it was? How the only color in this rainbow was white and Mystique's blue scaly ass? Eww, her nasty blue boobies. No one wants to ding dong those except my friend Arnoldo. He'd nibble on them like a hungry smurf cannibal.

There was so much sexual tension between Professor X and Magneto I was just waiting for them to go at it like a fat woman at a buffet. They couldn't keep there hands off each other. All those sexual mind games Professor X was playing in Magneto's head. Confusing Magneto to get naked and whip himself with barbwire.

Did I mention there were Nazis in the movie? Kevin Bacon played a naughty Nazi that killed the one black person in the movie. When watching the movie he might of been the only black person in the country. His name was Darwin and had the ability to adapt to situations such as gills if under water, or if getting whipped he would grow armor or learn to sexually enjoy it. Well he couldn't adapt to getting something that exploded down his throat. So that was the end of the only character with interesting abilities. Because you know a girl named Angel with insect wings who's like a giant fly was far more interesting.

There is so much more I could rant on about this horrible movie. Such as how they couldn't even keep characters that were Scottish and Irish, but make them into Americans. One was even keep a ginger like in the comics, the ONE thing I wouldn't of minded them changing. Gingers already are outcast in society and now to be a mutant too? He's double screwed and not in a good way.

I should of just watched Thor so I could yell out, "IT'S HAMMER TIME!"