"Fortune Cookie Hobo Nookie"
Tam woke up to a sharp jab in the crotch and suddenly shot up to look around, but all he could see was a little Chinese man standing next to him. Apparently that little man had just poked him in the crotch with one very long nail that was growing out of his pinky, and now was using the nail to pick his nose, flicking the nose nuggets that he had found into Tam's eye. The nuggets from the Chinese man were not merely any kind of nuggets but nose nuggets of death and the slow witted Tam had just realized that he was standing next to the long lost Master of The Boogie. Tam let out a huge howl as the nuggets began to dig themselves into Tam's eye. The yells could be heard for miles, but since Tam was white and somehow ended up in Chinatown, and so all the little eyed Chinese people just laugh. In the process they threw black thousand year old eggs, and garbage at Tam's face, eventually covering him in a horrible slimy/ delicious mess. Tam just assumed that the people were giving him gifs of the Orient and began bow rapiddly. Of course beignt the dumb ass smelly hobo (now even more so) he bagan to knock out the Chinese people with his rapid bow of Cracker Fury. The moans of Asian men, women and children could be heard and 4 hours later there was a mass pile of crippled Chinese people. Sandles and rice covered the ground next to badly made cheap toys that stupid white poeple like to come and buy then complain that it broke 2 hours later,thinking that paying 30 cents for was too good of a deal, and it would last forever. A loud gong sound finally put the white bow machine to a stop. A small shrill giggle could be heard and a tiny small old Chinese lady came by on a bike and hit Tam over the head with a chicken corpse. She stood up on the bike seat and began to use the dead chicken as a weapon and somehow got it to shoot out eggs. Tam jumped for cheer and began to catch the eggs in his shopping cart.
Nugget Master: "Our long lost ancient secrets do not work on this Cracker devil of the west!"
Chicken lady: " How can this be?! he just catches the eggs and eats them raw! we must put a stop to him!"
Tam: "Wow! everyone in this smalled eyed town is soo nice! I have enough food to last me months. I even got black and white eggs"
Nugget Master: " He is like a dirty devil that eats everything! he probably even eats the cheese off the burger wrapper!"
Chicken Lady: "Shut your dirty mouth! no one is that poor or disgraceful! Lets end this now, Soy Sauce style"
Tam: "That chicken she's holding would make a great love toy..."
The Chicken Lady's face was in shock and horror after hearing that her beloved pet chicken Mr. Peepers would ever be considered that way. The lady screamed and did 45 backflips up the wall of the butcher building and landed at the top. She laughed and smacked her 87 year old ass and transfomed with the power of Mr. Peepers, changing into a giant roasted duck. The transformed old woman in the shape of food caught Tam's eye (still filled w/ nuggets) and he started to drool. The drool began to pool up and eventually became a pile of disguisting yellow lake of bubbling death and you could even see bones of long lost babies he had eaten in the drool. The old lady could now not stop after seeing the death lake and she screamed and prayed to Buddha. Suddenly the clouds open and a face appeared. A giant black face came out of the clouds and he started to speak.
Black Jesus: "Bitch, Buddha is on vaction and I be here tonight, and I ain't savin' no chicken ass China lady aight?"
Chicken Lady: "What the hell? I want me some Buddha!"
BJ: "i'll give you some Buddha, ho.."
Chicken Lady: "NOOOOOO... Sweet n Sour Buddha nOooooO...!!"
The black Jesus turned her into an extra crispy fried chicken and Nugget Master into a delicious golden biscut and began to eat the two. The moans of pleasure and satisfaction BJ got could be heard all the way in Africa, and with a loud burp he sent Tam flying across the sky, drool and all. Tam was just sad and dissapointed that the black Jesus didn't share the food with him, and wondered if he should become a Buddhist, cause you know Buddha would of share some of that chicken with him. Greedy black Jesus with his chicken and his waffles sat back on his leather toilet seat and turned back the channel to BET.
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