Wow! it has been soo long since I have updated my blog huh? I blame school and Oprah for all of this.
I had my b-day party last Sat. and that was a lot of fun. Of Course after telling Sam to come at 2:00pm he comes right at 12:00pm just when I wake up. He comes with many bags of ramen noodles called Smack, many small cans of mixed vegetables, and two boxes of fudge pops. Also three dollars for my b-day (he charged me 2 bucks for buying onion dip). Ohh the good times! when do they ever end?
Kris: brought two packages of yummy garlic bread, which I have now eaten all of it.
Leslie: brought with her a lasangna (can't spell it)
David: he made Leslie say that he helped with buying the cupcakes, but didn't want to, but eventually did after she said she wouldn't say he did if he didn't chip in like the cheap ass he is. lol
Pam and Heather: 3 Medium Pizzas, bag of sun chips, and two bags of candy.
Allen and Anthony: noooooooOOOoo FOOD AT ALLL!!!!!! OMG!!!! bitches!! no tamales or anything.
On other news we played a great game of Carnium and Leslie and myself wiped the floor with everone else and made sure they knew it. GO TEAM GREEN!!!
also I got shoot in the nose by the toy gun Anthony gave me by Allen.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Go mE!
guess what?! my b-day is on June 10! yes, yes it is. That will right on a Friday! yay.
i'll probably get nothing anyway ::CRY::
i'll probably get nothing anyway ::CRY::
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wet Dreams! oh my...
Hello out there!
How have you all been? i'm good and dandy. Sorry for the lack of updates! my computer at home is dead and so I can only get online at school and school is soo boring that I get tired and lazy to really do any post. so yeah.
Guess what? there is already another project that hopefully will start soon, yup you heard me. You may of heard of it already. The title is Wet Dreams and will be a manga! yup, yup. The idead came from Haing at the Cartoon Field at the mall and haing out with my firend and looking at manga. I made a comment that they had one for every kind of sport now. From Baseball, soccer, and even bowling I was told! Lies! so myself and Allen started to think of what hasing been made into a manga yet and the idea of a swimming team came up! yes, it did. It came all the way up! and so the title WET DREAMS just fell into place like black on a woman. Not much has been done on it yet except the title and the swim team's mascot that will be a six legged octopus named Pussy-Chan (final name still in progress) so yeah that is all we have now. Maybe is we're not to lazy more might be done or not. probably not.
that's it for now you sexy bitches!@
C-ya
How have you all been? i'm good and dandy. Sorry for the lack of updates! my computer at home is dead and so I can only get online at school and school is soo boring that I get tired and lazy to really do any post. so yeah.
Guess what? there is already another project that hopefully will start soon, yup you heard me. You may of heard of it already. The title is Wet Dreams and will be a manga! yup, yup. The idead came from Haing at the Cartoon Field at the mall and haing out with my firend and looking at manga. I made a comment that they had one for every kind of sport now. From Baseball, soccer, and even bowling I was told! Lies! so myself and Allen started to think of what hasing been made into a manga yet and the idea of a swimming team came up! yes, it did. It came all the way up! and so the title WET DREAMS just fell into place like black on a woman. Not much has been done on it yet except the title and the swim team's mascot that will be a six legged octopus named Pussy-Chan (final name still in progress) so yeah that is all we have now. Maybe is we're not to lazy more might be done or not. probably not.
that's it for now you sexy bitches!@
C-ya
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Ohhh Stop! uh huh
Hmmm... Here I am again waiting for my religions class to start. I should probably just go home, but then there is nothing really much to do there either so I guess i'll just wait another hour till my class starts.
The title for this post came from when I went to see Kung FU Hustle at the movies with my friend and his brothers. Everytime something funny happened in the movie the black woman behind us would say some thing like "uh uhh" "Oh Stop it" or "Jesus no" and in the end she made the movie even more funny by adding some black girl sound effects to the movie. For all that haven't seen the movie, you better get your asses to somewhere that you can see it. Or i'mma get that black woman on your ass.
Hmmm.. I should probably add more stories to the blog but i'm too tired to think up of some funny stuff so I guess i'll have to wait till I get some more energy. So you all just wait right there and keep hitting the refresh button and look for an update. The new stories will focus on a guy and his small circle of friend and a special relationship that he has with one of them. Bascially that one friend calls late at night for bedtime stories and the main guy has to tell them to him or the other one get's sad then he gets crazt and begins to attack women and small children. So stay tuned for "Thuc me in Goodnight" and that will also be a 5 part series or howeven long I feel like doing it.
P.s Sam you are a bitch ass ho for getting that nasty ass sea water on me. I'll cut your cracker ass if you pull that shit again. uh huh.... ::Snap:: :: Snap::
The title for this post came from when I went to see Kung FU Hustle at the movies with my friend and his brothers. Everytime something funny happened in the movie the black woman behind us would say some thing like "uh uhh" "Oh Stop it" or "Jesus no" and in the end she made the movie even more funny by adding some black girl sound effects to the movie. For all that haven't seen the movie, you better get your asses to somewhere that you can see it. Or i'mma get that black woman on your ass.
Hmmm.. I should probably add more stories to the blog but i'm too tired to think up of some funny stuff so I guess i'll have to wait till I get some more energy. So you all just wait right there and keep hitting the refresh button and look for an update. The new stories will focus on a guy and his small circle of friend and a special relationship that he has with one of them. Bascially that one friend calls late at night for bedtime stories and the main guy has to tell them to him or the other one get's sad then he gets crazt and begins to attack women and small children. So stay tuned for "Thuc me in Goodnight" and that will also be a 5 part series or howeven long I feel like doing it.
P.s Sam you are a bitch ass ho for getting that nasty ass sea water on me. I'll cut your cracker ass if you pull that shit again. uh huh.... ::Snap:: :: Snap::
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Sailor RCC! Just YOU and ME!
Hello everyone!
i'm here at school and waiting for my next class at 1:50p.m and it it very boring and so I shall try to entertain myself.
What I can see from my seat is a very little Asian girl and she happens to be in a dark blue sailor suit uniform! I have no idea what she is in one. She might be here to satisfy a dirty man's kinky fetish of young school girls or she just thinks that she looks good in it, well sorry little 4'11 ft girl. You are very short with a bad looking boy's bowl haircut and them think framed large glasses are not helping.
So on my funny scale of 1-10 she gets a 5. the reason being more than funny she looks sad like when you see a cat get hit by a car, then the dead cat body being tossed 20ft into the air and then it landing in a baby stroller, and the mom scrams then pushes the stroller with the baby in fron of the train tracks and a train is coming. Yeah, it's that kind of sad, unless you don't like that cat or the woman with the baby.
LOL! I just looked behind me and there is a large middle aged woman with large frizzy blond hair and really bad make-up. She could of just gotten beaten up by her pimp BiG Daddy Jojo. Also she has her library card in her mouth and looks really hungry, maybe she is looking up pictures of food on the internet. She is so like me! that slut.
Okay then that is it for now, cause i'm tired of typing and funny looking people are hard to find at the moment.
Bye, Bye
i'm here at school and waiting for my next class at 1:50p.m and it it very boring and so I shall try to entertain myself.
What I can see from my seat is a very little Asian girl and she happens to be in a dark blue sailor suit uniform! I have no idea what she is in one. She might be here to satisfy a dirty man's kinky fetish of young school girls or she just thinks that she looks good in it, well sorry little 4'11 ft girl. You are very short with a bad looking boy's bowl haircut and them think framed large glasses are not helping.
So on my funny scale of 1-10 she gets a 5. the reason being more than funny she looks sad like when you see a cat get hit by a car, then the dead cat body being tossed 20ft into the air and then it landing in a baby stroller, and the mom scrams then pushes the stroller with the baby in fron of the train tracks and a train is coming. Yeah, it's that kind of sad, unless you don't like that cat or the woman with the baby.
LOL! I just looked behind me and there is a large middle aged woman with large frizzy blond hair and really bad make-up. She could of just gotten beaten up by her pimp BiG Daddy Jojo. Also she has her library card in her mouth and looks really hungry, maybe she is looking up pictures of food on the internet. She is so like me! that slut.
Okay then that is it for now, cause i'm tired of typing and funny looking people are hard to find at the moment.
Bye, Bye
Monday, May 02, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol.1 Ch.5
"Hobo Erotic to the Max"
It has been almost a week since the run in with the large German butcher woman Olga, and Tam and the Princess of Hamtarado are now on their next journey. Yet, no there is an actual destination! Yes! Tam is now the official bodyguard of the Princess and must escort her furry ass to her kingdom to reclaim the thrown before her evil stepsister Hammika takes the thrown. The thing is that Tam doesn’t know any of this and just thinks he’s on a quest to be the most known and respected hobo that the world has ever smelled.
"My what a delicious looking day it is! Don’t you think Hammy?"
"It’s too bright out here, I’m gonna go take a nap in your crotch"
"Umm.. Okay have fun and this time don’t nibble on my man meat"
"I am a princess and can eat any meat that I want. So if I’m hungry I’m gonna take a big old big bite, got it!"
"Ho oh, yes, you eat all you can. It’s like a buffet in my pants. Except this time it’s not owned by a Chinese family."
It was a hot day today and so of course Tam decided to just wear his bright red Speedo that he keeps just for this occasion. It’s just this time the Princess was curled up in the same area of his dried sausage and so it looked like he was hiding a small person in there. Tam felt a little hungry again, since that candy form the little black baby wasn’t really filling, and the fact that he had to run three blocks to get away from the baby’s big old mad mama. A smell filled the air and the scent filled Tam’s nostrils and excited his nose hairs. He skipped after the scent and wondered what it could have been. The smell had an effect on his body and it especially showed in his Speedo. The fact was that he was now popping wood and didn’t notice, but many people on the streets did. Women and many children screamed from the site. They all scattered into the streets and caused car crashes. In the end the streets were filled with the bodies of many white people and their bags filled with jars of Mayo. Since it is a known fact that people of the whiteness do enjoy jars of Mayo. Tam being of this whiteness, but not so much because he was covered in grease and dirt, and so this confused the people and they just assumed he was Mexican. The Mexicans were not gonna have this and just said he was black, and everyone just agreed that it was best thing for everyone.
"Look! Jars of beautiful, delicious Mayo yo yo!"
"Shut up! I’m sleeping!"
A giant chomp came from the red Speedos and Tam screamed like a white girl with a black man in bed. He grabbed his crotch and punched it to stop the pain, but no matter how much he punched his crotch the pain wouldn’t stop. Finally he just decided to slam his man zone into a fire hydrant. That probably did the trick cause he just made a little yelp and fell to the ground unconscious. After many hours later Tam awoke to a slap to his ass. It was though a midget just ran into his ass and fell over. Yet, it was different and his felt the nails of the hand dig into his hairy ass.
"Ohh yeah, that’s it just a little more to the left closer to the crack"
"Boi, you best not be playing with me now?"
"Huh? Why did you stop scratching my ass? You almost hit the spot"
"Uh ugh, ohh honey cracker chips you bet I’m gonna hit the spot"
Tam was tied standing up on a sex rack type of machine and couldn’t see the person behind him, but did hear a few voices that seemed familiar. A large footstep was heard and Tam was swung around. It was none other than that large chocolate seductress Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. Behind her stood Olga and the little Asian Chicken lady.
"Ohhh we gonna have us Dy – No- Mite old time you crusty little cracker piece of crap! Because of you I am homeless and had to steal all my wigs from a Holloween store!"
"My little hobo love man, Olga is here to repay you and that nasty little animal that attacked me in my butcher shop of meat and meat products, so be prepared for some efficient German torture. Also know as sex."
"Hee, Hee, so we meet again Tam of the Stink. I the Asian Chicken Lady a.k.a. Mistress MSG Soy Sauce will make you into a bowl of soup for what you had done to my town of Chinese people a.k.a. Chinatown."
"Huh? Who are you people? I’ve never seen any of you before."
This didn’t go well with the three women at all and the three just looked at each other in amazement that after what Tam had done he didn’t even remember them. Paprika just shoot her finger and her head began to move rapidly back and forth as she got more mad and mad. Out of nowhere her hair caught fire from the friction of her fat moving too fast.
"Sweet black mahogany Jesus! Not again!"
"Little China woman do something! Olga does not know how to deal with black woman on fire"
"Ohhh let me see, I must make a special potion from secret ancient Asian spices to stop the fire"
"Ohhh you all gonna go down with me then!"
Paprika out of fury began to chase the other two women around the room as she was still on fire. All three were now yelling and running in circles around Tam. Olga in a desperate attempt pulled out meat from her chi chi cracks and threw them in Paprika’s face. Mistress MSG did what every Asian person would do and ran up the wall and away from the flaming black woman. The room caught on fire and Tam began to cry and scream. Hammy finally awoke from the commotion to the place on fire. She pulled out her magic locket and with the magic inside of it she raised it to the sky and shouted out the phrase "Ham Hocks Hairy Action! MAKE UP!" a light came from her locket and she floated into the air and ribbons of hair began to surround her. In a flash of light there stood a hamster in a sailor uniform with pigtails. (This all took place in Tam’s Speedo)
"In the name of Hamtarado! I Sailor Ham Hocks will punish you!"
Huh? What? Hoo-Ha? What just happened here? Three devious women have captured Tam and now the room was on fire! What could be done? A mysterious new Sailor Ham Hocks? Who is she and where did she come from? Tam obviously didn’t notice his Speedo glowing. What will be the outcome of this adventure? Will Tam make it out with his eyebrows? Will Paprika, Olga, and MSG get their well-deserved revenge? Or will they die also in the fire? Can anything be done? Well you will have to stay tuned to the next adventures of Hobo- Erotic Adventures in Volume 2! Coming soon or never.
It has been almost a week since the run in with the large German butcher woman Olga, and Tam and the Princess of Hamtarado are now on their next journey. Yet, no there is an actual destination! Yes! Tam is now the official bodyguard of the Princess and must escort her furry ass to her kingdom to reclaim the thrown before her evil stepsister Hammika takes the thrown. The thing is that Tam doesn’t know any of this and just thinks he’s on a quest to be the most known and respected hobo that the world has ever smelled.
"My what a delicious looking day it is! Don’t you think Hammy?"
"It’s too bright out here, I’m gonna go take a nap in your crotch"
"Umm.. Okay have fun and this time don’t nibble on my man meat"
"I am a princess and can eat any meat that I want. So if I’m hungry I’m gonna take a big old big bite, got it!"
"Ho oh, yes, you eat all you can. It’s like a buffet in my pants. Except this time it’s not owned by a Chinese family."
It was a hot day today and so of course Tam decided to just wear his bright red Speedo that he keeps just for this occasion. It’s just this time the Princess was curled up in the same area of his dried sausage and so it looked like he was hiding a small person in there. Tam felt a little hungry again, since that candy form the little black baby wasn’t really filling, and the fact that he had to run three blocks to get away from the baby’s big old mad mama. A smell filled the air and the scent filled Tam’s nostrils and excited his nose hairs. He skipped after the scent and wondered what it could have been. The smell had an effect on his body and it especially showed in his Speedo. The fact was that he was now popping wood and didn’t notice, but many people on the streets did. Women and many children screamed from the site. They all scattered into the streets and caused car crashes. In the end the streets were filled with the bodies of many white people and their bags filled with jars of Mayo. Since it is a known fact that people of the whiteness do enjoy jars of Mayo. Tam being of this whiteness, but not so much because he was covered in grease and dirt, and so this confused the people and they just assumed he was Mexican. The Mexicans were not gonna have this and just said he was black, and everyone just agreed that it was best thing for everyone.
"Look! Jars of beautiful, delicious Mayo yo yo!"
"Shut up! I’m sleeping!"
A giant chomp came from the red Speedos and Tam screamed like a white girl with a black man in bed. He grabbed his crotch and punched it to stop the pain, but no matter how much he punched his crotch the pain wouldn’t stop. Finally he just decided to slam his man zone into a fire hydrant. That probably did the trick cause he just made a little yelp and fell to the ground unconscious. After many hours later Tam awoke to a slap to his ass. It was though a midget just ran into his ass and fell over. Yet, it was different and his felt the nails of the hand dig into his hairy ass.
"Ohh yeah, that’s it just a little more to the left closer to the crack"
"Boi, you best not be playing with me now?"
"Huh? Why did you stop scratching my ass? You almost hit the spot"
"Uh ugh, ohh honey cracker chips you bet I’m gonna hit the spot"
Tam was tied standing up on a sex rack type of machine and couldn’t see the person behind him, but did hear a few voices that seemed familiar. A large footstep was heard and Tam was swung around. It was none other than that large chocolate seductress Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. Behind her stood Olga and the little Asian Chicken lady.
"Ohhh we gonna have us Dy – No- Mite old time you crusty little cracker piece of crap! Because of you I am homeless and had to steal all my wigs from a Holloween store!"
"My little hobo love man, Olga is here to repay you and that nasty little animal that attacked me in my butcher shop of meat and meat products, so be prepared for some efficient German torture. Also know as sex."
"Hee, Hee, so we meet again Tam of the Stink. I the Asian Chicken Lady a.k.a. Mistress MSG Soy Sauce will make you into a bowl of soup for what you had done to my town of Chinese people a.k.a. Chinatown."
"Huh? Who are you people? I’ve never seen any of you before."
This didn’t go well with the three women at all and the three just looked at each other in amazement that after what Tam had done he didn’t even remember them. Paprika just shoot her finger and her head began to move rapidly back and forth as she got more mad and mad. Out of nowhere her hair caught fire from the friction of her fat moving too fast.
"Sweet black mahogany Jesus! Not again!"
"Little China woman do something! Olga does not know how to deal with black woman on fire"
"Ohhh let me see, I must make a special potion from secret ancient Asian spices to stop the fire"
"Ohhh you all gonna go down with me then!"
Paprika out of fury began to chase the other two women around the room as she was still on fire. All three were now yelling and running in circles around Tam. Olga in a desperate attempt pulled out meat from her chi chi cracks and threw them in Paprika’s face. Mistress MSG did what every Asian person would do and ran up the wall and away from the flaming black woman. The room caught on fire and Tam began to cry and scream. Hammy finally awoke from the commotion to the place on fire. She pulled out her magic locket and with the magic inside of it she raised it to the sky and shouted out the phrase "Ham Hocks Hairy Action! MAKE UP!" a light came from her locket and she floated into the air and ribbons of hair began to surround her. In a flash of light there stood a hamster in a sailor uniform with pigtails. (This all took place in Tam’s Speedo)
"In the name of Hamtarado! I Sailor Ham Hocks will punish you!"
Huh? What? Hoo-Ha? What just happened here? Three devious women have captured Tam and now the room was on fire! What could be done? A mysterious new Sailor Ham Hocks? Who is she and where did she come from? Tam obviously didn’t notice his Speedo glowing. What will be the outcome of this adventure? Will Tam make it out with his eyebrows? Will Paprika, Olga, and MSG get their well-deserved revenge? Or will they die also in the fire? Can anything be done? Well you will have to stay tuned to the next adventures of Hobo- Erotic Adventures in Volume 2! Coming soon or never.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Sexy Soldiers: Pt. 2
Scene 3
Kevin:
Hey Girls!!! You aight?
Shay:
Yeah, we aight, but my hair got all messed up in the chaos! Can you believe it? Ohh yeah that rich white girl got her ass smashed by some large piece of the roof.
Kevin:
HAHA, well it’s not like anyone really even liked her skanky ass.
Shay:
Got that right playa. Like to see her whore it up not with her coochie all over the place.
Lil:
GUYS! We should be getting some help!
Kevin:
Did you see the people on fire running around? Then they tried to drop and roll but all that did was set the grass on fire. Eventually the grass was on fire and other people caught on fire. They all died. That was some funny S***.
Shay:
Oh hell yeah it was! I was like "Oh, why you all gonna even try and run? You gonna get burned like a ho in church anyway!"
Kevin:
Damn, Shay. Your should of brought your camera and take some pictures and win yourself $100,000 on that Bob Saget show.
Shay:
Ohh boy you so right. Wait who is Bob Saget?
Lil:
He was that dad on Full House, and now he has that America’s Funniest Home Videos show. Hold on! We need to help the people now!
Kevin:
Hey, Lil look! That guy on fire is coming right at you!
Lil turns around to see a guy on fire with half his face burned off, and moaning for help.
Lil:
Huh? What? AHHHHHH! AHHHH!! GET AWAY!! GET AWAY!!
Having no idea what to do Lil begins to run around in circles with the half burned guy following her. All while Kevin and Shay watch and laugh.
Kevin:
HAHA! Why don’t you help the guy?
Lil:
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! Stop! Ewwww! Why don’t you just die already?
Shay:
Ohh she gonna get her white ass killed now. I’ll have to handle this like only a hot chocolate Nubian princess as I can.
Shay reaches in her purse and begins to look around in it. She finds what she looks for and pulls out her arousal can of hair spray, and takes aim at the body. On contact with the spary the body explodes in a bloody mess.
Lil:
Oh my! You just blew up his flaming ass. YAY!
Shay:
Well, he was gonna go and die anyway.
Kevin:
True. We better hurry and get away from here before more flamers come.
The sky begins to rumble with lightning and thunder. Darkness begins to cover the sky, the dark clouds reveal a huge face laughing and licking its lips.
Scene 4
Large Woman:
I am the Goddess of this world now and so you all shall bend to my delicious will.
Kevin:
Damn, look at that! She is one large husky sized thing.
Shay:
Uh huh look like her ass just ate a planet.
Lil:
We should probably go hide or something before that thing sees us.
Large Woman:
MUHAHAH! I see everything with these beautiful eyes of mine, and it looks as I have found the first three of you!
Kevin:
Uh oh, I think it’s talking about us.
Shay:
She best be knowing who she gonna be speaking to. I am black and ain’t scared of your big old ass.
Lil:
No, No! Shay don’t mention that thing’s big old ass!
Large Woman:
Huh? What was that you little cockroaches? I am a Goddess and of course perfect in every way possible. My voice is so sweet as molasses it makes the ears of people bleed because it is so sexy, and my body has so many curves that you could drive all day on them.
As she raises her hands to cover her mouth as she cackles to herself the fat under her arms begin to jiggle and sway, causing a gust of wind that knock down two buildings. In a sudden burst of laughter the three point to the flapping fat.
Large Woman:
Oh noooo oH noooo! Did you just insult my voluptuous? Don’t you all be hating just cause I like my Jell-O to be jiggling honey. For that insult to my banging body all of you will pay for this! Get them my 5 Flavors of Delight!
A faint song can be heard in the distance and as it gets closer it begins to sound like an ice cream truck. The truck flies towards the three and crashes down on top of the pavement leaving a giant pothole. The small window on the side of the truck slides open and five huge women pops out of the small window as the three stood there amazed. The five large women stand there eating ice cream not noticing the three or even any orders being given. The delicious taste of the ice cream is much too delicious that they cannot function until they have devoured the last big. The five soon finish their ice cream and begin to cry, as now they have no more ice cream. The Large woman now running out of patience snaps her fingers and the ice cream truck explodes throwing the fat girls and ice cream all over the place.
Shay:
Oh oh! I got me a Drumstick!
Kevin:
A Big Pop for me!
Lil:
Hey! This is not the time for…. Oh a fudge pop! My favorite! (she begins to dance and licks the fudge pop in sexy ways)
Scene 5
Large Woman:
Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla, Mint, Cookies n’ Cream! Kill those three right now and Mama will give you all a trash can full of ice cream!
5 Flavors:
Yes, Mama! We gonna be full tonight! (after eating all the ice cream on the ground and a few dead bodies)
The three see the 5 Flavors waddling towards them and they all let out a scream. They try to make a break for it but the combined girth of the 5 Flavors block their escape.
Kevin:
Hey Girls!!! You aight?
Shay:
Yeah, we aight, but my hair got all messed up in the chaos! Can you believe it? Ohh yeah that rich white girl got her ass smashed by some large piece of the roof.
Kevin:
HAHA, well it’s not like anyone really even liked her skanky ass.
Shay:
Got that right playa. Like to see her whore it up not with her coochie all over the place.
Lil:
GUYS! We should be getting some help!
Kevin:
Did you see the people on fire running around? Then they tried to drop and roll but all that did was set the grass on fire. Eventually the grass was on fire and other people caught on fire. They all died. That was some funny S***.
Shay:
Oh hell yeah it was! I was like "Oh, why you all gonna even try and run? You gonna get burned like a ho in church anyway!"
Kevin:
Damn, Shay. Your should of brought your camera and take some pictures and win yourself $100,000 on that Bob Saget show.
Shay:
Ohh boy you so right. Wait who is Bob Saget?
Lil:
He was that dad on Full House, and now he has that America’s Funniest Home Videos show. Hold on! We need to help the people now!
Kevin:
Hey, Lil look! That guy on fire is coming right at you!
Lil turns around to see a guy on fire with half his face burned off, and moaning for help.
Lil:
Huh? What? AHHHHHH! AHHHH!! GET AWAY!! GET AWAY!!
Having no idea what to do Lil begins to run around in circles with the half burned guy following her. All while Kevin and Shay watch and laugh.
Kevin:
HAHA! Why don’t you help the guy?
Lil:
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! Stop! Ewwww! Why don’t you just die already?
Shay:
Ohh she gonna get her white ass killed now. I’ll have to handle this like only a hot chocolate Nubian princess as I can.
Shay reaches in her purse and begins to look around in it. She finds what she looks for and pulls out her arousal can of hair spray, and takes aim at the body. On contact with the spary the body explodes in a bloody mess.
Lil:
Oh my! You just blew up his flaming ass. YAY!
Shay:
Well, he was gonna go and die anyway.
Kevin:
True. We better hurry and get away from here before more flamers come.
The sky begins to rumble with lightning and thunder. Darkness begins to cover the sky, the dark clouds reveal a huge face laughing and licking its lips.
Scene 4
Large Woman:
I am the Goddess of this world now and so you all shall bend to my delicious will.
Kevin:
Damn, look at that! She is one large husky sized thing.
Shay:
Uh huh look like her ass just ate a planet.
Lil:
We should probably go hide or something before that thing sees us.
Large Woman:
MUHAHAH! I see everything with these beautiful eyes of mine, and it looks as I have found the first three of you!
Kevin:
Uh oh, I think it’s talking about us.
Shay:
She best be knowing who she gonna be speaking to. I am black and ain’t scared of your big old ass.
Lil:
No, No! Shay don’t mention that thing’s big old ass!
Large Woman:
Huh? What was that you little cockroaches? I am a Goddess and of course perfect in every way possible. My voice is so sweet as molasses it makes the ears of people bleed because it is so sexy, and my body has so many curves that you could drive all day on them.
As she raises her hands to cover her mouth as she cackles to herself the fat under her arms begin to jiggle and sway, causing a gust of wind that knock down two buildings. In a sudden burst of laughter the three point to the flapping fat.
Large Woman:
Oh noooo oH noooo! Did you just insult my voluptuous? Don’t you all be hating just cause I like my Jell-O to be jiggling honey. For that insult to my banging body all of you will pay for this! Get them my 5 Flavors of Delight!
A faint song can be heard in the distance and as it gets closer it begins to sound like an ice cream truck. The truck flies towards the three and crashes down on top of the pavement leaving a giant pothole. The small window on the side of the truck slides open and five huge women pops out of the small window as the three stood there amazed. The five large women stand there eating ice cream not noticing the three or even any orders being given. The delicious taste of the ice cream is much too delicious that they cannot function until they have devoured the last big. The five soon finish their ice cream and begin to cry, as now they have no more ice cream. The Large woman now running out of patience snaps her fingers and the ice cream truck explodes throwing the fat girls and ice cream all over the place.
Shay:
Oh oh! I got me a Drumstick!
Kevin:
A Big Pop for me!
Lil:
Hey! This is not the time for…. Oh a fudge pop! My favorite! (she begins to dance and licks the fudge pop in sexy ways)
Scene 5
Large Woman:
Mocha, Chocolate, Vanilla, Mint, Cookies n’ Cream! Kill those three right now and Mama will give you all a trash can full of ice cream!
5 Flavors:
Yes, Mama! We gonna be full tonight! (after eating all the ice cream on the ground and a few dead bodies)
The three see the 5 Flavors waddling towards them and they all let out a scream. They try to make a break for it but the combined girth of the 5 Flavors block their escape.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Welcome to Hobo Lovefest 2005
Hmmm... i'm gonna be needing some help on the final installment of Hobo-Erotic Adventures.
Where will the final instalment in vol. 1 take place?
1. landfill
2. McDonald's
3. Africa
4. Sea World
5. Cardboard box
6. Love shack
7. Arizona
8. under a pool table
9. top of a pool table
10. a black family reunion BBQ
So there are your chocies and soooo take your pick and get your asses out there and vote, but if your gonna vote for Arnold, just don't and cut your fingers off. I'm talking about you SAM! uh huh... you know I know...
::Snap::
::Snap::
I'll then hopefully get to update the story soon. Cause i'm done with my midterms and now have lots of sexy time to myself.
C-ya!
Where will the final instalment in vol. 1 take place?
1. landfill
2. McDonald's
3. Africa
4. Sea World
5. Cardboard box
6. Love shack
7. Arizona
8. under a pool table
9. top of a pool table
10. a black family reunion BBQ
So there are your chocies and soooo take your pick and get your asses out there and vote, but if your gonna vote for Arnold, just don't and cut your fingers off. I'm talking about you SAM! uh huh... you know I know...
::Snap::
::Snap::
I'll then hopefully get to update the story soon. Cause i'm done with my midterms and now have lots of sexy time to myself.
C-ya!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hello again!
sorry for the late updates and post, but i'm just too lazy to be posting all the time. Cause you know how much typing get me out of breath. i'm almost dying right now and weezing form just typing this right now. lol I'm just so larger than life. (no comments please)
Hmmm... I still need to add in the last installment of the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. This will be the final capter in the 1st volume of Tam's adventures, and so he'll be stuck in some prison cell untill I bring him out of it.
So just keep in mind that there will be a new installments! Yes! there wil be an all new original series that I will be writting and posting. It shall be called for now "Thuc Me In Goodnight" or something else if I feel like it. The all brand new series will be following the adventures of a new character and his over sexual zelous friend. The two will hopefully get into some sexy situations and because of that we'll have sexy results.
If you have any suggestions for story line please leave me sexy comments and you might see your ideas in the stories. Of course you will not get any credit for them and any suggestion that I will used will be erased form the comment section.
P.S In Kaleido Star : New Wings, you get a sexy little Chinese girl. Ohh them Asians!
sorry for the late updates and post, but i'm just too lazy to be posting all the time. Cause you know how much typing get me out of breath. i'm almost dying right now and weezing form just typing this right now. lol I'm just so larger than life. (no comments please)
Hmmm... I still need to add in the last installment of the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. This will be the final capter in the 1st volume of Tam's adventures, and so he'll be stuck in some prison cell untill I bring him out of it.
So just keep in mind that there will be a new installments! Yes! there wil be an all new original series that I will be writting and posting. It shall be called for now "Thuc Me In Goodnight" or something else if I feel like it. The all brand new series will be following the adventures of a new character and his over sexual zelous friend. The two will hopefully get into some sexy situations and because of that we'll have sexy results.
If you have any suggestions for story line please leave me sexy comments and you might see your ideas in the stories. Of course you will not get any credit for them and any suggestion that I will used will be erased form the comment section.
P.S In Kaleido Star : New Wings, you get a sexy little Chinese girl. Ohh them Asians!
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Random sexy updates!
Hi again everyone! I'm good and you?
hmm.... this weekend was filled with super ghettoness. This weekend was the Cambodian new year and also the 30th anniversery (can't spell) of the Khmer Rough being taken out of power so it was wierd celebrating the new year with also such a horrible thing that had happened. About 2 million people were killed during that leadership. Anyway I went to two parties this weekend. One was at San Barnadino and another at Pomona on Sun. Both were ghetto like all Cambodians are. Annoying kids all over the place and what I have always feared in becoming... a ghetto Asian, and there were some there. Also on lighter news a bunch of cops, maybe five or six came later on to bust up the gambling, cause we all know that Asian people be liking to gamble.
After that we left to go eat at Seafood Capital Restaurant near Sam Woo's. It was a good dinner except that we didn't order sweet and sour soup!! OMG! no soup! So basically I didn't eat muich because of that and when I don't eat much you know something is wrong. ohh my poor sweet n' sour soup! why?!
Other news:
New Pope, OMG! he be German! I was hoping for a black one like I was hearing about or maybe the Latin American one, cause we know they be the hardcore Catholics. I also remember hearing that after the death of John Paul II and the next pope Armageddon is gonna be coming so you better all start praying now, or just become Buddhist cause you can't go to hell if you don't believe or can you......
Also congrats on KZ for getting to be on the staff at AX this year. He'll be doing the manga library and we all know that is gonna be a lot of work to do. So big ups to you KZ. LOL your gonna be a manga librarian! haha that is sooo sexy! you can wear a suit and put your hair in a bun then take it out and wave your hair all around in slow motion with all the people looking. YOU need to do that! yay! for KZ and his long sexy black sea of an ocean star eleven hair!
Also hi sam! have fun pushing t-shirts and getting slapped by girls in Japanese uniforms! i'll be one of them *wink
Also hi ALLEN! you still have my INUYASHA CD!! i'll take you Love Hina hostage untill then. also i'll be needing 5-14 of Love Hina. The best part is when they made the kisisng machine and Motoko got some sweet, sweet kissing. lol
Good Times! Moving on up!
Also help me come up with a title to the new sexy movie scrip i'm starting to post. do it or die! with unsexy results. how u like them apples? I like Golden Delicious, you?
hmm.... this weekend was filled with super ghettoness. This weekend was the Cambodian new year and also the 30th anniversery (can't spell) of the Khmer Rough being taken out of power so it was wierd celebrating the new year with also such a horrible thing that had happened. About 2 million people were killed during that leadership. Anyway I went to two parties this weekend. One was at San Barnadino and another at Pomona on Sun. Both were ghetto like all Cambodians are. Annoying kids all over the place and what I have always feared in becoming... a ghetto Asian, and there were some there. Also on lighter news a bunch of cops, maybe five or six came later on to bust up the gambling, cause we all know that Asian people be liking to gamble.
After that we left to go eat at Seafood Capital Restaurant near Sam Woo's. It was a good dinner except that we didn't order sweet and sour soup!! OMG! no soup! So basically I didn't eat muich because of that and when I don't eat much you know something is wrong. ohh my poor sweet n' sour soup! why?!
Other news:
New Pope, OMG! he be German! I was hoping for a black one like I was hearing about or maybe the Latin American one, cause we know they be the hardcore Catholics. I also remember hearing that after the death of John Paul II and the next pope Armageddon is gonna be coming so you better all start praying now, or just become Buddhist cause you can't go to hell if you don't believe or can you......
Also congrats on KZ for getting to be on the staff at AX this year. He'll be doing the manga library and we all know that is gonna be a lot of work to do. So big ups to you KZ. LOL your gonna be a manga librarian! haha that is sooo sexy! you can wear a suit and put your hair in a bun then take it out and wave your hair all around in slow motion with all the people looking. YOU need to do that! yay! for KZ and his long sexy black sea of an ocean star eleven hair!
Also hi sam! have fun pushing t-shirts and getting slapped by girls in Japanese uniforms! i'll be one of them *wink
Also hi ALLEN! you still have my INUYASHA CD!! i'll take you Love Hina hostage untill then. also i'll be needing 5-14 of Love Hina. The best part is when they made the kisisng machine and Motoko got some sweet, sweet kissing. lol
Good Times! Moving on up!
Also help me come up with a title to the new sexy movie scrip i'm starting to post. do it or die! with unsexy results. how u like them apples? I like Golden Delicious, you?
Monday, April 18, 2005
It's Only the Beginning!
Scene 1
Many torches running down the sides of a long walkway light a large dark room and the smell of rosemary roasted chicken fills the air. The talking of two huge shadows can be heard and as the camera moves closer their scratchy fat voices can be heard more clearly.
Shadow 1:
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Shadow 2:
Hey! What chu up to now?
Shadow 1:
Nothing much, just ate some old people, babies, chickens, and blew up some buildings you know the usual boring stuff.
Shadow 2:
Awww… sounds like so much fun! Why didn’t you call? Girl…. My ass was
just sitting around and eating hobos off the street, and you know how they are, "Oh.. please don’t eat me… I don’t have anything else but life itself!" Then I’m like " why would your ass even want life if all it’s doing is sitting on the side of a freeway with a cardboard sign asking for handouts?" Then he be like "Damn! that is true, eh eat me then" Ohh.. girl! Hobos they be like the craziest ho’s that have live on the steps of a church.
Shadow 1:
Tru dat sister Mayo Mama.
Large Woman:
Shut the Hell up you dirty fat bitches! I’m here trying to watch my stories. Now get your asses to Earth and hurry up and destroy it, cause mama is hungry and I ain’t gonna be saving you no stir fry midgets if you take too long. We got other bidness in another galaxy. Now git to the go biatches!
Shadow 1&2:
Yes, Our large and delicious Mistress
Scene 2
The scene opens up to a high school next to the ocean and soon zooms in onto one classroom. There a single young blonde girl of the age of sixteen sits in her English class.
Lil:
(To Herself) OMG! This class is so boring especially with that old hag of a woman. Hehe she kinda looks like Cher, but older, more like a troll, and except that her lady berries are sagging and starting to knock against her knees. Hmm…. so not really like Cher I guess. More like something you would find at a shelter and try to set fire to. Ohh Lil you are too much.
The bell rings and the students and the students go into a pushing rage. Kids are knock down and stepped on as they all struggle to get out of the classroom. In all there were two deaths, but they were foreign exchange students so no one really noticed or cared.
Shay:
Hey! Cracker! You glad it’s summer vacation?
Lil:
Ohh sweet wrathful God yes. Now I can get started with my reading. I’ve bought all theses books and haven’t had any time to read them.
Shay:
Yeah, you go read your stanky old book. I gotsa go and get my hair did tomorrow at Big Mama Hair Shack. My weaves be getting all crusty and ghetto, I think they even started to fall out. This is why I don’t take showers! All that water made my hair enhancements moldy and green.
Lil:
Yeah, your hair does look like someone put fried snakes on top of your head and then they exploded in a stinky mess.
Shay:
Bitch! No you didn’t just get your meat on my grill. Uh ugh … best be getting that off my grill cause it ain’t gonna cook on my grill :Snap: :Snap:
Lil:
Girl! Shay Shay! You know that I just play with chu, don’t get your ham hocks in a knot.
Shay:
Aight then, you still my little cracker. Ohh.. we gonna be late meeting Kevin. Lets get on the go go.
The ground then suddenly starts to shake and the gym’s roof explodes right off, sending parts of the roof in all directions. The flaming rubble hits many classrooms and it is assumed that many are injured or killed. A piece of rubble comes flying at Shay, but nearly misses her, but sets her hair on fire. She runs around screaming while Lil just stands there in shock at the fiery scene. Shay finally puts out the hair fire in a toilet, but the toilet was not flushed so she had an extra surprise in her hair. Lets just say that it was not one of her original hair snakes.
Shay:
Oh Damn, Damn, Damn! What the hell was all of that mess?
Lil:
I don’t really know, but we should be helping the injured or something like that, right?
Shay:
F*** that S***! Im’ma get my black ass out of this. Sweet Jesus! What did I do to deserve this? I only pushed that girl down the stairs once. We’ll she did try to take them ear rings I wanted. Yeah, that bitch deserved that push, and I did get a good laugh. Hmmm.. Good Times!
Lil:
Shay! Shut up! We can’t just leave the…. Oh Crap! Is that Kevin?
A young guy comes running waving his arms in the air at the two girls. Kevin is another close friend and the two girls are overwhelmed to see that he was all right.
(More Will Be Posted Later)
Many torches running down the sides of a long walkway light a large dark room and the smell of rosemary roasted chicken fills the air. The talking of two huge shadows can be heard and as the camera moves closer their scratchy fat voices can be heard more clearly.
Shadow 1:
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Shadow 2:
Hey! What chu up to now?
Shadow 1:
Nothing much, just ate some old people, babies, chickens, and blew up some buildings you know the usual boring stuff.
Shadow 2:
Awww… sounds like so much fun! Why didn’t you call? Girl…. My ass was
just sitting around and eating hobos off the street, and you know how they are, "Oh.. please don’t eat me… I don’t have anything else but life itself!" Then I’m like " why would your ass even want life if all it’s doing is sitting on the side of a freeway with a cardboard sign asking for handouts?" Then he be like "Damn! that is true, eh eat me then" Ohh.. girl! Hobos they be like the craziest ho’s that have live on the steps of a church.
Shadow 1:
Tru dat sister Mayo Mama.
Large Woman:
Shut the Hell up you dirty fat bitches! I’m here trying to watch my stories. Now get your asses to Earth and hurry up and destroy it, cause mama is hungry and I ain’t gonna be saving you no stir fry midgets if you take too long. We got other bidness in another galaxy. Now git to the go biatches!
Shadow 1&2:
Yes, Our large and delicious Mistress
Scene 2
The scene opens up to a high school next to the ocean and soon zooms in onto one classroom. There a single young blonde girl of the age of sixteen sits in her English class.
Lil:
(To Herself) OMG! This class is so boring especially with that old hag of a woman. Hehe she kinda looks like Cher, but older, more like a troll, and except that her lady berries are sagging and starting to knock against her knees. Hmm…. so not really like Cher I guess. More like something you would find at a shelter and try to set fire to. Ohh Lil you are too much.
The bell rings and the students and the students go into a pushing rage. Kids are knock down and stepped on as they all struggle to get out of the classroom. In all there were two deaths, but they were foreign exchange students so no one really noticed or cared.
Shay:
Hey! Cracker! You glad it’s summer vacation?
Lil:
Ohh sweet wrathful God yes. Now I can get started with my reading. I’ve bought all theses books and haven’t had any time to read them.
Shay:
Yeah, you go read your stanky old book. I gotsa go and get my hair did tomorrow at Big Mama Hair Shack. My weaves be getting all crusty and ghetto, I think they even started to fall out. This is why I don’t take showers! All that water made my hair enhancements moldy and green.
Lil:
Yeah, your hair does look like someone put fried snakes on top of your head and then they exploded in a stinky mess.
Shay:
Bitch! No you didn’t just get your meat on my grill. Uh ugh … best be getting that off my grill cause it ain’t gonna cook on my grill :Snap: :Snap:
Lil:
Girl! Shay Shay! You know that I just play with chu, don’t get your ham hocks in a knot.
Shay:
Aight then, you still my little cracker. Ohh.. we gonna be late meeting Kevin. Lets get on the go go.
The ground then suddenly starts to shake and the gym’s roof explodes right off, sending parts of the roof in all directions. The flaming rubble hits many classrooms and it is assumed that many are injured or killed. A piece of rubble comes flying at Shay, but nearly misses her, but sets her hair on fire. She runs around screaming while Lil just stands there in shock at the fiery scene. Shay finally puts out the hair fire in a toilet, but the toilet was not flushed so she had an extra surprise in her hair. Lets just say that it was not one of her original hair snakes.
Shay:
Oh Damn, Damn, Damn! What the hell was all of that mess?
Lil:
I don’t really know, but we should be helping the injured or something like that, right?
Shay:
F*** that S***! Im’ma get my black ass out of this. Sweet Jesus! What did I do to deserve this? I only pushed that girl down the stairs once. We’ll she did try to take them ear rings I wanted. Yeah, that bitch deserved that push, and I did get a good laugh. Hmmm.. Good Times!
Lil:
Shay! Shut up! We can’t just leave the…. Oh Crap! Is that Kevin?
A young guy comes running waving his arms in the air at the two girls. Kevin is another close friend and the two girls are overwhelmed to see that he was all right.
(More Will Be Posted Later)
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures Vol.1 Ch.4
"Little Butcher Shop of Horrors"
What makes a hobo? What goes in when making a hobo? Is there a certain mix of ingredients? Spices? Do you just add water? Hmm… probably not. Yet, what we do know is all you need is a can of beans, maybe a cardboard box, and is your one of the high class ones a shopping cart from Le Target. So does this make Tam qualify as a true Ho of a hobo? I guess. He’s stinky, sexy, loving, stupid, crazy, and poor. So he barely makes the stinky cut, but he does and he knows it.
"I will be the most recognized Hobo on the planet!"
Tam laughs to himself as he tucks himself in a dumpster behind an old building named McCracker’s Animal Slaughter Shop Etc. He holds on tightly to his new friend Ham Hocks the hamster. Who would of left such a poor hamster in a cage in such a nice white house? Not Tam! The night before he was happening to watch a family eat dinner and walked out behind the house to get a better view, but something fuzzy and delicious caught his crusty eyes, but only a small brown and white hamster in a cage all alone. Tam being the lover of animals and their taste decided to rescue him. After scaring the family out of the house by chasing them with his shopping cart he rescued the Hamster and now they are lovers, or just friends, you decide.
"Oh Ham Hocks you are my only friend in the whole world"
"Giggles, oh Tam you are my hero in rusty, moldy armor!"
"Huh? What the hell? You can talk?"
"Yes, I am a princess from the world of Hamtarado, and must make it back to save my kingdom from the dirty rats of New York. The towns are at a huge war and we need your help!"
: Snore: Snore:
"What the cat droppings? He fell asleep? I guess we can try this later then."
Tam not having much of an attention span fell asleep before the princess could tell him of her town. She not really caring much either, just crawled under his hat and make a nest from his hair. The next morning came like slap in the crotch. The dumpster lid opened ad there stood a large manatee of a hairy woman about 7 ft tall stood in amazement. The woman fell in love in an instant.
"Oh my! You must be a angel from in front of the gates of Heaven!"
"HUH? What’s going on here? I’m trying to sleep you huge whore!"
": GASP! how can you speak to me like a dirty street whore? I own a butcher shop!"
"Butcher shop? Does that mean you got meat? Juicy bloody meat?"
"HELL yeah, you dirty little piece of German sausage. Mama to be Olga Shapelga Steinerson has so much meat she has to hide it in her woman barn."
"Woman barn?"
Olga just giggles and slaps her danger zone with a wink. Tam at that very moment almost threw up, but he had not eaten since he left that town of little eyed people, so all that came out were sad loud dry heaves. Olga invited Tam to have some fresh meat and excitedly Tam scream like a Japanese schoolgirl. The two walked in the back door and Tam was amazed to see so much meat hanging on the ceiling and covering the floors. The stench of rotten meat filled the small shop and Tam was turned on but the smell of it all. His eyes began to twinkle and he grabbed the large German woman and threw her onto a table covered in meat. Tam sprung on top of the large hairy meat juice covered woman and exclaimed his love to her. Upon hearing this the hamster Princess Ham Hocks was furious that her love slave had now loved another.
"What the biscuits do you think your doing TAM?"
"Huh? Oh hi there Hammy"
"Don’t you Hammy me you dirty smelly whore of a hobo!"
"Um..Tam why can that Hamster talk?"
"Shut your Volkswagen driving sausage loving mouth when a Princess is speaking!"
"Say what? This little bite-sized nugget did not just say I drive a Volkswagen did it?
"You heard me meat whore! Whatcha gonna do? Eat me?"
"Good Idea! Olga needs a snack before she plays "Bumping Uglies" with Tam"
Olga leaped towards the hamster knocking Tam into a pool of meat juice on the floor. Tam never having tasted real meat took out his silly straw and began drinking the vile green liquid. The angry hungry woman pulled out a huge butcher’s knife from her huge cleavage, and launched herself at the poor hamster. Yet, she did not know that Ham Hocks had studied the deadly hamster arts of Dooky Death. Ham Hocks leaped into the air (all in slow motion) lifted her furry ass and shot her dooky pellets at Olga’s face. Olga let out a huge roar and flew back into the hanging carcasses of beef. After taking a bit she came charging at the hamster. Hammy quickly took cover behind Tam, and the impact sent the poor hobo flying threw the roof of the shop. Another large woman walked into the shop and began to speak.
"Helga! What is this mess? Did you rape the beef again?"
"No! I didn’t I swear Yolga. This hobo took advantage of me and then some talking hamster attacked me with it’s s***!"
"Bitch, you need to stop your sex fantasy of hamster and hobos and clean this mess up."
The giant German woman just shook her fat fist at the hole in the roof and vowed to the Gods that’s she will have bite out of Tam’ sausage, and that hamster will be in a bowl of stew in the upcoming Octoberfest.
"This is the only way to travel eh Hammy?"
"Just shut up and kiss me you dirty Hobo you!"
What makes a hobo? What goes in when making a hobo? Is there a certain mix of ingredients? Spices? Do you just add water? Hmm… probably not. Yet, what we do know is all you need is a can of beans, maybe a cardboard box, and is your one of the high class ones a shopping cart from Le Target. So does this make Tam qualify as a true Ho of a hobo? I guess. He’s stinky, sexy, loving, stupid, crazy, and poor. So he barely makes the stinky cut, but he does and he knows it.
"I will be the most recognized Hobo on the planet!"
Tam laughs to himself as he tucks himself in a dumpster behind an old building named McCracker’s Animal Slaughter Shop Etc. He holds on tightly to his new friend Ham Hocks the hamster. Who would of left such a poor hamster in a cage in such a nice white house? Not Tam! The night before he was happening to watch a family eat dinner and walked out behind the house to get a better view, but something fuzzy and delicious caught his crusty eyes, but only a small brown and white hamster in a cage all alone. Tam being the lover of animals and their taste decided to rescue him. After scaring the family out of the house by chasing them with his shopping cart he rescued the Hamster and now they are lovers, or just friends, you decide.
"Oh Ham Hocks you are my only friend in the whole world"
"Giggles, oh Tam you are my hero in rusty, moldy armor!"
"Huh? What the hell? You can talk?"
"Yes, I am a princess from the world of Hamtarado, and must make it back to save my kingdom from the dirty rats of New York. The towns are at a huge war and we need your help!"
: Snore: Snore:
"What the cat droppings? He fell asleep? I guess we can try this later then."
Tam not having much of an attention span fell asleep before the princess could tell him of her town. She not really caring much either, just crawled under his hat and make a nest from his hair. The next morning came like slap in the crotch. The dumpster lid opened ad there stood a large manatee of a hairy woman about 7 ft tall stood in amazement. The woman fell in love in an instant.
"Oh my! You must be a angel from in front of the gates of Heaven!"
"HUH? What’s going on here? I’m trying to sleep you huge whore!"
": GASP! how can you speak to me like a dirty street whore? I own a butcher shop!"
"Butcher shop? Does that mean you got meat? Juicy bloody meat?"
"HELL yeah, you dirty little piece of German sausage. Mama to be Olga Shapelga Steinerson has so much meat she has to hide it in her woman barn."
"Woman barn?"
Olga just giggles and slaps her danger zone with a wink. Tam at that very moment almost threw up, but he had not eaten since he left that town of little eyed people, so all that came out were sad loud dry heaves. Olga invited Tam to have some fresh meat and excitedly Tam scream like a Japanese schoolgirl. The two walked in the back door and Tam was amazed to see so much meat hanging on the ceiling and covering the floors. The stench of rotten meat filled the small shop and Tam was turned on but the smell of it all. His eyes began to twinkle and he grabbed the large German woman and threw her onto a table covered in meat. Tam sprung on top of the large hairy meat juice covered woman and exclaimed his love to her. Upon hearing this the hamster Princess Ham Hocks was furious that her love slave had now loved another.
"What the biscuits do you think your doing TAM?"
"Huh? Oh hi there Hammy"
"Don’t you Hammy me you dirty smelly whore of a hobo!"
"Um..Tam why can that Hamster talk?"
"Shut your Volkswagen driving sausage loving mouth when a Princess is speaking!"
"Say what? This little bite-sized nugget did not just say I drive a Volkswagen did it?
"You heard me meat whore! Whatcha gonna do? Eat me?"
"Good Idea! Olga needs a snack before she plays "Bumping Uglies" with Tam"
Olga leaped towards the hamster knocking Tam into a pool of meat juice on the floor. Tam never having tasted real meat took out his silly straw and began drinking the vile green liquid. The angry hungry woman pulled out a huge butcher’s knife from her huge cleavage, and launched herself at the poor hamster. Yet, she did not know that Ham Hocks had studied the deadly hamster arts of Dooky Death. Ham Hocks leaped into the air (all in slow motion) lifted her furry ass and shot her dooky pellets at Olga’s face. Olga let out a huge roar and flew back into the hanging carcasses of beef. After taking a bit she came charging at the hamster. Hammy quickly took cover behind Tam, and the impact sent the poor hobo flying threw the roof of the shop. Another large woman walked into the shop and began to speak.
"Helga! What is this mess? Did you rape the beef again?"
"No! I didn’t I swear Yolga. This hobo took advantage of me and then some talking hamster attacked me with it’s s***!"
"Bitch, you need to stop your sex fantasy of hamster and hobos and clean this mess up."
The giant German woman just shook her fat fist at the hole in the roof and vowed to the Gods that’s she will have bite out of Tam’ sausage, and that hamster will be in a bowl of stew in the upcoming Octoberfest.
"This is the only way to travel eh Hammy?"
"Just shut up and kiss me you dirty Hobo you!"
Monday, April 11, 2005
Hobo A Gogo
Hello everyone again! how has everyone been? dandy like sour candy? hope so cause sour candy is delicious and I hope that you are also delicious.
Now back to business! It has been some time now that our stinky hero Tam was last seen in the episode where he was apparently trapped in a really bad B-Level kung fu fantasy film. So have no fears! we will hopefully be seeing his ass in another sexy situation, and maybe even with other white people :Gasp: I'll have to be keeping the white people in check in the stories since I don't want them taking over, and so I hope to accomplish this by having many die (many, many) in the up coming adventures . So why don't you all help find the next mass grave site for all the new friends we will be making, and then losing.
Destination:
1. Zoo (lots of animals to play with)
2. Carls Jr.
3. whore house
4. Las Vegas
5. Buthcher shop
New Friends:
1. Cher
2. Courtney Love
3. Large pregnant white woman
4. Hamster
5. dirty old dog (really a dirty little midget)
There we are people! the next chocies that you all have to pick from. Please enjoy them and vote for your picks, but don't enjoy it to too much or i'll have to charging you for taking pleasure in what I am providing with my services, and I am not cheap.
:Wink:
Also I have dug out form the anciet tombs a lost story that I had written a few years back! Yes, folks that is right I have unearthen lost scripts of an ancient tale of love, laughter and large ladies trying to take over the earth. So please stay tuned for updates on that as it will be posted as soon as i'm not lazy.
Now back to business! It has been some time now that our stinky hero Tam was last seen in the episode where he was apparently trapped in a really bad B-Level kung fu fantasy film. So have no fears! we will hopefully be seeing his ass in another sexy situation, and maybe even with other white people :Gasp: I'll have to be keeping the white people in check in the stories since I don't want them taking over, and so I hope to accomplish this by having many die (many, many) in the up coming adventures . So why don't you all help find the next mass grave site for all the new friends we will be making, and then losing.
Destination:
1. Zoo (lots of animals to play with)
2. Carls Jr.
3. whore house
4. Las Vegas
5. Buthcher shop
New Friends:
1. Cher
2. Courtney Love
3. Large pregnant white woman
4. Hamster
5. dirty old dog (really a dirty little midget)
There we are people! the next chocies that you all have to pick from. Please enjoy them and vote for your picks, but don't enjoy it to too much or i'll have to charging you for taking pleasure in what I am providing with my services, and I am not cheap.
:Wink:
Also I have dug out form the anciet tombs a lost story that I had written a few years back! Yes, folks that is right I have unearthen lost scripts of an ancient tale of love, laughter and large ladies trying to take over the earth. So please stay tuned for updates on that as it will be posted as soon as i'm not lazy.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Character Profile: Paprika
Full Name: Paprika Nae Nae Jackson
Nicknames: Coaco Goddess, The Queen, Buckwheat's Mama, Nae Nae, Latoya, Ebony Chocolate Sundae, Mama, Zulu and Bad Mutha...(shut yo mouth!)
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
D.O.B: 12.25.70 (she calls herself a gift from Heaven)
Likes: Dark Chocolate men, just plain dark Chocolate, press on nails, hair extensions, t.v (Oprah)
Dislikes: skinny white men, the po po, things not deep fired, Tax collectors, and the movie Beauty Shop ( say that she was to star in the movie NOT Queen Latifa)
Motto: "If you you can't eat it, then why you gonna be running after it?"
1st Memories: Verbally attacking a little white boy who got in her way while she was chasing the Mexican man with the ice cream cart.
Personality: Paprika is the type of girl that will cut a bitch that gets all up in her grill. Especially a girl that is trying to cook her meat on Paprika's grill. Quick to get mad and will even chaqse you down in her Volvo if she has to, cause she is not a long distant runner or even a short distant runner, she would rather use a motorized wheelchair if she could, and plus she could get the blue handicap parking pass that she had always dreamed of getting when she was still a Chunky Rocky Road flavored girl. Usually hate men since her daddy left her and her mama when she was still 25. So now she only sees men as a love toy and one day hopes that it will actually rain men.
Hair: Her hair is made of the right side being in braids and one side being a large black puff of hair. Usually her hair changes every week so we can;t be sure what it truly looks like or that she really has any at all. (owns the largest wig and extension collection in the west coast)
Clothes: Her favorite clothes are anything that will grab attention and if she is lucky will blind people so she can steal their food off the table. Her favorite outfit is a skin tight leopard print cat suit with 9 inch heels. Once she wore a dead cat as a neck wrap and didn't know it, she was told by some girl that it was a fashion trend, that girl hasn't been found since.
Nicknames: Coaco Goddess, The Queen, Buckwheat's Mama, Nae Nae, Latoya, Ebony Chocolate Sundae, Mama, Zulu and Bad Mutha...(shut yo mouth!)
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
D.O.B: 12.25.70 (she calls herself a gift from Heaven)
Likes: Dark Chocolate men, just plain dark Chocolate, press on nails, hair extensions, t.v (Oprah)
Dislikes: skinny white men, the po po, things not deep fired, Tax collectors, and the movie Beauty Shop ( say that she was to star in the movie NOT Queen Latifa)
Motto: "If you you can't eat it, then why you gonna be running after it?"
1st Memories: Verbally attacking a little white boy who got in her way while she was chasing the Mexican man with the ice cream cart.
Personality: Paprika is the type of girl that will cut a bitch that gets all up in her grill. Especially a girl that is trying to cook her meat on Paprika's grill. Quick to get mad and will even chaqse you down in her Volvo if she has to, cause she is not a long distant runner or even a short distant runner, she would rather use a motorized wheelchair if she could, and plus she could get the blue handicap parking pass that she had always dreamed of getting when she was still a Chunky Rocky Road flavored girl. Usually hate men since her daddy left her and her mama when she was still 25. So now she only sees men as a love toy and one day hopes that it will actually rain men.
Hair: Her hair is made of the right side being in braids and one side being a large black puff of hair. Usually her hair changes every week so we can;t be sure what it truly looks like or that she really has any at all. (owns the largest wig and extension collection in the west coast)
Clothes: Her favorite clothes are anything that will grab attention and if she is lucky will blind people so she can steal their food off the table. Her favorite outfit is a skin tight leopard print cat suit with 9 inch heels. Once she wore a dead cat as a neck wrap and didn't know it, she was told by some girl that it was a fashion trend, that girl hasn't been found since.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Uh...ohhh..
Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in the next installment of the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. I've been too tired and bust this week to update, but I'll get a new one up as soon as I can. I'll just promise that there will be more sexy encounters and consequences.
Hey, Hey, Hey!
C-Ya
Hey, Hey, Hey!
C-Ya
Friday, April 01, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures Vol.1 Ch. 3
"Fortune Cookie Hobo Nookie"
Tam woke up to a sharp jab in the crotch and suddenly shot up to look around, but all he could see was a little Chinese man standing next to him. Apparently that little man had just poked him in the crotch with one very long nail that was growing out of his pinky, and now was using the nail to pick his nose, flicking the nose nuggets that he had found into Tam's eye. The nuggets from the Chinese man were not merely any kind of nuggets but nose nuggets of death and the slow witted Tam had just realized that he was standing next to the long lost Master of The Boogie. Tam let out a huge howl as the nuggets began to dig themselves into Tam's eye. The yells could be heard for miles, but since Tam was white and somehow ended up in Chinatown, and so all the little eyed Chinese people just laugh. In the process they threw black thousand year old eggs, and garbage at Tam's face, eventually covering him in a horrible slimy/ delicious mess. Tam just assumed that the people were giving him gifs of the Orient and began bow rapiddly. Of course beignt the dumb ass smelly hobo (now even more so) he bagan to knock out the Chinese people with his rapid bow of Cracker Fury. The moans of Asian men, women and children could be heard and 4 hours later there was a mass pile of crippled Chinese people. Sandles and rice covered the ground next to badly made cheap toys that stupid white poeple like to come and buy then complain that it broke 2 hours later,thinking that paying 30 cents for was too good of a deal, and it would last forever. A loud gong sound finally put the white bow machine to a stop. A small shrill giggle could be heard and a tiny small old Chinese lady came by on a bike and hit Tam over the head with a chicken corpse. She stood up on the bike seat and began to use the dead chicken as a weapon and somehow got it to shoot out eggs. Tam jumped for cheer and began to catch the eggs in his shopping cart.
Nugget Master: "Our long lost ancient secrets do not work on this Cracker devil of the west!"
Chicken lady: " How can this be?! he just catches the eggs and eats them raw! we must put a stop to him!"
Tam: "Wow! everyone in this smalled eyed town is soo nice! I have enough food to last me months. I even got black and white eggs"
Nugget Master: " He is like a dirty devil that eats everything! he probably even eats the cheese off the burger wrapper!"
Chicken Lady: "Shut your dirty mouth! no one is that poor or disgraceful! Lets end this now, Soy Sauce style"
Tam: "That chicken she's holding would make a great love toy..."
The Chicken Lady's face was in shock and horror after hearing that her beloved pet chicken Mr. Peepers would ever be considered that way. The lady screamed and did 45 backflips up the wall of the butcher building and landed at the top. She laughed and smacked her 87 year old ass and transfomed with the power of Mr. Peepers, changing into a giant roasted duck. The transformed old woman in the shape of food caught Tam's eye (still filled w/ nuggets) and he started to drool. The drool began to pool up and eventually became a pile of disguisting yellow lake of bubbling death and you could even see bones of long lost babies he had eaten in the drool. The old lady could now not stop after seeing the death lake and she screamed and prayed to Buddha. Suddenly the clouds open and a face appeared. A giant black face came out of the clouds and he started to speak.
Black Jesus: "Bitch, Buddha is on vaction and I be here tonight, and I ain't savin' no chicken ass China lady aight?"
Chicken Lady: "What the hell? I want me some Buddha!"
BJ: "i'll give you some Buddha, ho.."
Chicken Lady: "NOOOOOO... Sweet n Sour Buddha nOooooO...!!"
The black Jesus turned her into an extra crispy fried chicken and Nugget Master into a delicious golden biscut and began to eat the two. The moans of pleasure and satisfaction BJ got could be heard all the way in Africa, and with a loud burp he sent Tam flying across the sky, drool and all. Tam was just sad and dissapointed that the black Jesus didn't share the food with him, and wondered if he should become a Buddhist, cause you know Buddha would of share some of that chicken with him. Greedy black Jesus with his chicken and his waffles sat back on his leather toilet seat and turned back the channel to BET.
Tam woke up to a sharp jab in the crotch and suddenly shot up to look around, but all he could see was a little Chinese man standing next to him. Apparently that little man had just poked him in the crotch with one very long nail that was growing out of his pinky, and now was using the nail to pick his nose, flicking the nose nuggets that he had found into Tam's eye. The nuggets from the Chinese man were not merely any kind of nuggets but nose nuggets of death and the slow witted Tam had just realized that he was standing next to the long lost Master of The Boogie. Tam let out a huge howl as the nuggets began to dig themselves into Tam's eye. The yells could be heard for miles, but since Tam was white and somehow ended up in Chinatown, and so all the little eyed Chinese people just laugh. In the process they threw black thousand year old eggs, and garbage at Tam's face, eventually covering him in a horrible slimy/ delicious mess. Tam just assumed that the people were giving him gifs of the Orient and began bow rapiddly. Of course beignt the dumb ass smelly hobo (now even more so) he bagan to knock out the Chinese people with his rapid bow of Cracker Fury. The moans of Asian men, women and children could be heard and 4 hours later there was a mass pile of crippled Chinese people. Sandles and rice covered the ground next to badly made cheap toys that stupid white poeple like to come and buy then complain that it broke 2 hours later,thinking that paying 30 cents for was too good of a deal, and it would last forever. A loud gong sound finally put the white bow machine to a stop. A small shrill giggle could be heard and a tiny small old Chinese lady came by on a bike and hit Tam over the head with a chicken corpse. She stood up on the bike seat and began to use the dead chicken as a weapon and somehow got it to shoot out eggs. Tam jumped for cheer and began to catch the eggs in his shopping cart.
Nugget Master: "Our long lost ancient secrets do not work on this Cracker devil of the west!"
Chicken lady: " How can this be?! he just catches the eggs and eats them raw! we must put a stop to him!"
Tam: "Wow! everyone in this smalled eyed town is soo nice! I have enough food to last me months. I even got black and white eggs"
Nugget Master: " He is like a dirty devil that eats everything! he probably even eats the cheese off the burger wrapper!"
Chicken Lady: "Shut your dirty mouth! no one is that poor or disgraceful! Lets end this now, Soy Sauce style"
Tam: "That chicken she's holding would make a great love toy..."
The Chicken Lady's face was in shock and horror after hearing that her beloved pet chicken Mr. Peepers would ever be considered that way. The lady screamed and did 45 backflips up the wall of the butcher building and landed at the top. She laughed and smacked her 87 year old ass and transfomed with the power of Mr. Peepers, changing into a giant roasted duck. The transformed old woman in the shape of food caught Tam's eye (still filled w/ nuggets) and he started to drool. The drool began to pool up and eventually became a pile of disguisting yellow lake of bubbling death and you could even see bones of long lost babies he had eaten in the drool. The old lady could now not stop after seeing the death lake and she screamed and prayed to Buddha. Suddenly the clouds open and a face appeared. A giant black face came out of the clouds and he started to speak.
Black Jesus: "Bitch, Buddha is on vaction and I be here tonight, and I ain't savin' no chicken ass China lady aight?"
Chicken Lady: "What the hell? I want me some Buddha!"
BJ: "i'll give you some Buddha, ho.."
Chicken Lady: "NOOOOOO... Sweet n Sour Buddha nOooooO...!!"
The black Jesus turned her into an extra crispy fried chicken and Nugget Master into a delicious golden biscut and began to eat the two. The moans of pleasure and satisfaction BJ got could be heard all the way in Africa, and with a loud burp he sent Tam flying across the sky, drool and all. Tam was just sad and dissapointed that the black Jesus didn't share the food with him, and wondered if he should become a Buddhist, cause you know Buddha would of share some of that chicken with him. Greedy black Jesus with his chicken and his waffles sat back on his leather toilet seat and turned back the channel to BET.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Meat Handlers!
Welll it looks that we have some votes that are now in and since i'm in such a good mood (not really I haven't eaten) also i'm at school w/ nothing to do I'll be sexy nice and update the total votes.
Destination:
Chinatown: 2 votes
Butcher Shop: 1 vote
Character:
Sam: 2 votes
Little Asian lady:1 vote
Also know that your votes don't really mean anything to me and i'll write about whatever I feel like at that moment i'm updating the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. In all it means that Sam will probably never make a guess apperance in the story unless we need to have some white people die. Since we killed off many, many Mexicans in last weeks episode be sure that many more white people will die, cause we all know they have it coming.
P.s
Sam you so fine you blow my mind, SAM!
P.s
Kris has won for best quote of the month!
"I want to see Tam handle some meat...uh oh..... "
Destination:
Chinatown: 2 votes
Butcher Shop: 1 vote
Character:
Sam: 2 votes
Little Asian lady:1 vote
Also know that your votes don't really mean anything to me and i'll write about whatever I feel like at that moment i'm updating the Hobo-Erotic Adventures. In all it means that Sam will probably never make a guess apperance in the story unless we need to have some white people die. Since we killed off many, many Mexicans in last weeks episode be sure that many more white people will die, cause we all know they have it coming.
P.s
Sam you so fine you blow my mind, SAM!
P.s
Kris has won for best quote of the month!
"I want to see Tam handle some meat...uh oh..... "
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Take me down to Funky Town!
Did you enjoy the latest adventure of Tam? We'll you better of cause i'm not gonna take anyother answer except yes.
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
The character of Paprika was one that has always been in my mind, cause you know how black women are, spicy and sexy, and she is all of that and then some. I love me some big black woman cause they are always named after some kind of product, such as Champagne, Lexus, Listerine, Honey, and maybe something like Velveta Cheese. You know that you have heard some of these names right?
The next adventure will take place soon this Friday and again I need help in deciding on what the stinky Hobo will be doing and trouble he will be causing.
Destination:
1. Another black woman's home
2. Canada
3. Chinatown
4. Anime Club
5. A butcher shop (lots of delicious meat, yum)
Characters:
1. Return of Paprika
2. Little old Asian woman
3. Crazy ass cat lady
4. Sam
5. woman hobo
These are the choices that you as the readers have for the next adventure and the final votes will be counted when I feel like doing them. If you want you can also suggest your own adventures, but just keep them to yourself okay? lol
Gay Anime
And not the good kind either!
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
lol, guess what? I decided to go to the mall with my friend Leslie today and it turned out like all the other days at the mall except one thing, we got yelled at! haha and from all the places it happened at the Anime Club at the mall here in Riverside. OMG! that was some funny Sh*t. Like all the others days we go inthere and just look around, be loud and insult stuff, you know the usual things we do, but this time the bony ass white guy w/ long hair was working and wearing a UCR sweater. I seeing this took Leslie behind the CD stand and began to tell her how much I hated when people wear sweaters w/ their school name on it, but probably not as quite as I wanted it to be. Being the dumb crazk she is she looked at him as I said it and I think he heard us also laughing. After that we went over to the shelf w/ the Godzilla stuff and she knocks Godzilla to the floor and I scream like a little white girl. We laugh and move over to the other side and that cracker of a ho bag looks at us and says
Skinny Cracker "You gonna buy anything?"
Leslie " Ummm... maybe... we are still looking"
::LONG SILENCE::
Richard ::Laughing his ass off:: (that is a lot of ass to laugh off)
So we just look at each other than at him and turn our backs to him and start laughing at the fact that his bony ass actually said that to us (not really). So I pull out my phone and look at the time and said that we should stay a few more minutes. Leslie said that she really wanted to stay longer now that he had the beef balls to say that to people in the store.
We walk out and head out to Barens and Nobel and sit down then leave after 5 minutes. So I decided that I wanted to walk pass the Anime store again to check up on our sexy little friend, and as we did and looked at him he took off the UCR sweater!! OMG! The two of us started to bust out laughing soooo loud that poeple stared at us (mostly Mexicans) I think that cracker did to. We get out of the door still laughing so I told her I wanted to take another round pass the Anime Club and so we did staring at him as we walked by laughing. HAHA from all the people that would get made at us i would of thought that I would of been the other two white pople that usually work there, the old 40 yr old guy and that skinny little ho girl. I would of even thought that the skinny little Asian guy would yelled at us first. Al in all it was a funny ass experience and that I wish you all could of been there.
Skinny Cracker "you gonna buy anything?"
Richard " huh?, bitch are you gonna buy anything?, cause I don't think that your ass be getting any sort of commission from selling this sh*t!"
Leslie "you go GIRL!"
All in all the people that work there are pretty rude mother F's and should be set on fire and slow roasted like the pigs that they are, except the Asian guy (only cause he's asian, but the minute he's rude his ass is roasted to.) Or i'll just get my friend Sam on them and they will pray that they were dead.
"GOOD TIMES!"
Friday, March 25, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 2
"A Touch of Paprika"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Tam had bearly taken a step off the sidewalk before he was almost run over by some crazy driver. The driver made a sudden sharp turn to avoid hitting the dirty hobo and his shopping car full of cans. In an instant the car hit a family of Mexicans using the cross walk. There were Mexicans flying all over the place, all 12 of them flew into the trees and into the parking lot of Target. The screams of "Ay ya ya" could be heard for miles around. The police arrived six hours later. There were no surviors except Tam and the driver.
"Sweet corn bread! what have I done!! Jesus ain't gonna be liking this mess!"
"Hi there! I'm Tam and you almost hit me with your Volvo"
"GURL! that was you? damn, if I knew i'd just hit your ass and left the scene, cause no one be missing your stanky ass!"(her heads moves from side to side so fast that it makes Tam sick)
"you should move!"
"excues me? do you not hear me talking?! you can wait till Miss Paprika Nae Nae Jackson is finished!"
::Hurl!!!!!!!::(all over her sandles)
"OH! OH! OH! HELLL NOOOOOOO you didn't! not on my chocolate colored toes!!! boy you gonna be dead!"
Tam screamed like a Japanese school girl and took off with his car asking help from the lord. Paprika being a large hungry black woman took off after him in her pea green Volvo that had substained no damage in the process of running over 12 Mexicans in one hit. Tam scramed and ran down the street causing cars to swerve off the road and hitting families of Mexicans left and right, there were zapatoes and chanklas all over the palce.
"OHHHH, BOY! I see you! you can't escape the grasp of Paprika, i'm gonna run that crusty white ass over!!!!"
Paprika eyes turned bright red and she trasformed into Spicy Paprika her alter ego. Spicy Paprika took no business from no people and did what she wanted. Her neck began to move from side to side faster and faster as she got closer to running Tam over. Her neck movement was soo fast and violent that she even broke the drivers and passenger windows from the force of her deadly "Neck of ChocolateFury" Tam could no longer run so he pushed his cart behind him. In a flash Paprika his the cart and she went flying out of the front window on top of poor Tam. We all know that Paprika was no small lady, she could be refered as Chocolate dipped wooly mammoth or even a RV covered in mud. Tam was screeming in pain as she landed with such a force that it caused a huge steaming pothole in the middle of the street.
"ohh sweet Aunt Jamaima syurp, what happened?"
"excuse me? could you please get off of me?
"what the ebony Jesus? my ass now be talking?"
"please get off!"
"I don't know why you be complaining now? I've been sitting on you for years"
A loud scream came from Paprika as she felt a sharp pain on her large brown sugar ka dunk ka dunk. She flew up with such a force that she hit her head on a lamp post and rolled into a SUV and caused it to explode. Tam seeing his chance to escape the huge angry woman jumped threw the closed home window he could find and hid. The whole time not knowing that it was the home of Paprika Nae Nae Jackson. dum.. dum.. dum..the door swung open and Paprika let out a huge howl into the air as she saw Tam in her Victoria Secret undies and robe that she had bought from the child support that her 4th husband gave her. Taking no more chances that he would escaped she took put her butcher knife and forck she keeps in her purse and leaped at Tam. He like a dirty hobo took out he stank powder and threw it in her face and she ended up crashing into the oven. The corn bread that had been baking flew all over the placea and were ruined. This only angered the hungry woman more. The house began to shook and without any notice the home exploded into a fiery blast. There were fake hair extensions, wigs, fake nails and Ding Dongs all over the lawn. Tam grabbed a few wigs and threw it into the shoppoing cart that was stuck to the car's hood and took off into the sunset. Paprika shook out the gummie bears out of her burnt afro, put on some new fake nails she found on the lawn, and made a promise that she will one day have her revenage on that beat up old cracker or a hobo and make him suffer no matter what.
Meanwhile Tam tried on his brand new wigs he had found on the lawn somewhere and looked into the car window (he eventually stole the car afterwards)
"Oh my, oh my this does make me look like a sexy dirty woman hobo, maybe I can smack my lips on a street corner and make some extra money for some of that KFC i've been hearing about"
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Character Profile: Tam
Full Name: Tam Burger
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
Nicknames: Tampon, Tammy G, Stinky Hobo, Eww
Birthplace: Riverside, CA
Likes: dry cardboard, eating not out of a dumpster, walks in the ally, gloves w/ fingers cut off
Dislikes: children, chickens, cramps, being hit by cars, and rolling into the ditch, black women (only large ones)
Motto: "Just because it's in the trash doesn't mean it ain't good for the eating!"
1st Memories: Being verbally attacked by a large black woman, then having his candy stolen
Personality: Tam is just your average bum on the streets after being kicked out by his former lover Gina after a fight about the mayo and who would finish the jar. Tam is yet your lovable hobo that takes nothing seriously, unless he is stealing it. Overall he is the last person to know what evers going on and when he does know he doesn't use this knowlegde and usually ends up getting attacked by wild dogs or wild chickens. So bascially he a stupid bum that you can't really get mad at, only at his stench.
Hair: dark dirty brown color sticking all over the place and being partly coverd by a beat up old hat he had found off a dead person at some funeral
Clothes: a large dark green colored trench coat coved with dirt and many other substances. He wears cut off shorts that go a little bit pass his knees, and it is all kept up by a vacuum cord tied around tightly. The shoes that he prefers to wear are old army boots or when it is hot outside he goes for the old fashion bread bags w/ holes in them for air circulation. Wonder bread bags are his favorite. The days they he feels like a real man he uses his giant red purse that he had been hit in the head by a large mayo woman in the park. Now he calls it bag-o-wonders and keeps all his nit-nacks in, which is really just a marble and a plastic bag from Stater Bros.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Diary of a Sexy Fat Black Woman
Birthplace
Riverside : 2 votes
Canada: 1 vote
Destination
Chinatown: 1 vote
Black woman's home: 2 votes
More like her just her house anyways. By the overwhelming amounts of votes it seems that the home a strange black woman will be the next destination of our stinky hero Tam. How will he end up there? For what propose? what will the large black woman say? all these or none of these answers will be answered soon in the next sexy installment of Hobo-Erotic Adventures. Just let me warn you that when black women are present there is no way to know what will happen next or what she will say or even how fast her neck will move from side to side. All I do know is that fake hair extenstions and fake nails will be flying all over the place. Soo please stay tuned and watch out cause even you are not safe from being cut.
Riverside : 2 votes
Canada: 1 vote
Destination
Chinatown: 1 vote
Black woman's home: 2 votes
More like her just her house anyways. By the overwhelming amounts of votes it seems that the home a strange black woman will be the next destination of our stinky hero Tam. How will he end up there? For what propose? what will the large black woman say? all these or none of these answers will be answered soon in the next sexy installment of Hobo-Erotic Adventures. Just let me warn you that when black women are present there is no way to know what will happen next or what she will say or even how fast her neck will move from side to side. All I do know is that fake hair extenstions and fake nails will be flying all over the place. Soo please stay tuned and watch out cause even you are not safe from being cut.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Miracle Whip
Hello all three of you that probably read this blog. I hope that you had a chance to enjoy the first in a many party weekly series of the "Hobo-Erotic Adventures" staring are one and only Tam the hobo man. This week Tam was finally introduced into the mass public eye and apparently gave them all a bad case of pink eye. In the weeks to come I think that I will get the readers to help me out with setting the adventures up and what will eventually happen to out stinky hero of hobos.
First of all the name of the city that Tam was born in
1. Hobotopia
2. Stank Villa
3. Riverside, CA
4. Stench City
5. Poor Man's Pothole
6. Wal-Mart
7. Hobo A Go-Go
8. Dookkie Dook
9. Osaka, Japan
10. some where in Canada (where else could he come from?)
Nexy sexy adventure destination?
1. Wal-Mart Revisited (his cart broke down and he couldn't leave that day)
2. Chinatown
3. a few feet away (he broke a foot tripping on a dead cat)
4. In a black woman's home
5. a bus stop
There you are people! you will now be in charge of Tam's adventures and life, and if I don't get the results I wanted from your picks i'll just change them. Okay? yay!
First of all the name of the city that Tam was born in
1. Hobotopia
2. Stank Villa
3. Riverside, CA
4. Stench City
5. Poor Man's Pothole
6. Wal-Mart
7. Hobo A Go-Go
8. Dookkie Dook
9. Osaka, Japan
10. some where in Canada (where else could he come from?)
Nexy sexy adventure destination?
1. Wal-Mart Revisited (his cart broke down and he couldn't leave that day)
2. Chinatown
3. a few feet away (he broke a foot tripping on a dead cat)
4. In a black woman's home
5. a bus stop
There you are people! you will now be in charge of Tam's adventures and life, and if I don't get the results I wanted from your picks i'll just change them. Okay? yay!
Friday, March 18, 2005
Hobo-Erotic Adventures: Vol. 1 Ch. 1
"Always Low Prices"
The day started like it always did with the sun shining through the cut out window in the cardboard box. Yet this day was something much more different and Tam knew this. Tam is not your average everyday bum or hobo but one that takes it to a whole new level, and sometimes the levels can reach the sexy limits, but usually not since who would think that a homeless, bean eating, dirty guy is sexy? Especially one that likes to eat out of dumpster and rummages the left over food from peoples trays at Carls Jr. Not me of course, but if your one of these people please read on about the trials of redemption and hope that are Tam is searching for. The thing is that Tam was always hated by his peers in the ally behind Wal-Mart. He had only lived there a short while but the high class hobos didn't appreciated Tam's flare for old thrown always 80's clothes that he had found in a black man's trash can the other night.
"So what you think that your too good for the everyday low prices of Wal-Mart?"
"No!, no I've never said that. I love you guys and the alley behind the Wal-Mart!"
"What did you just say? You dirty little black 80's fruit pie!"
"That I liked you?....Hey! I'm not black I just haven't had a bath in a few months, and these clothes make my butt look much more smaller and brings out the color in my black eye that I got while chasing a cat that I wanted to cook for some hobo stew, but instead ran into a mailbox and rolled over into the ditch and was almost brushed to death by the gutter cleaning machine that comes every Friday night around two A.M"
The two hobos went on for a sixteen more hours late into the night and by the end they had no idea what they were fighting over, but all they knew was that it ended in a long dirty (really dirty) passionate love making session. There were trench coats and old cheese all over the back ally when the two were finished. Yet when Tam awoke from his dirty slumber on a trash bag filled with old Chinese food from next door he found that he was all alone in the ally. Was it a dream? Tam thought to himself. But the dirty mayo love making was soo real to him that he could still tase the tangy Mircle Whip that was used during the hobo bobo bumping. Tam leaped into the air and proclamed that he will never be used in such a way that he was the other night again without first charing for the booty bumping.
"I Tam hear by will never give away my sweet, sweet relish tasting vanilla white loving again with out first getting money. Fool me once shame on you, fool me eight times shame on you, but fool me 34 times shame on ME!"
Tam had made his decision to become the first ever hobo to treck the face of the earth on only his good looks (only in his opinion) and his sexy charms. He tightened the vacuum cord around his waist and tied on his bread bag shoes and was off into the unknow world. The sun of a new chapter in his sad, pathetic, moldy, unwanted life was shinning somewhat brightly and Tam was off to an all new adventure. The shopping cart he had stolen from Wal-mart was loaded with his belongings of Coke cans and toilet paper (really newspaper he had taken from a donut shop) and it was off he went.
"It's gonna be good time sfrom now on! Everything is coming up Tam!"
"Shut up you dirty bum!"
"I love you too! Wow! even the people are cheering me on!"
The day started like it always did with the sun shining through the cut out window in the cardboard box. Yet this day was something much more different and Tam knew this. Tam is not your average everyday bum or hobo but one that takes it to a whole new level, and sometimes the levels can reach the sexy limits, but usually not since who would think that a homeless, bean eating, dirty guy is sexy? Especially one that likes to eat out of dumpster and rummages the left over food from peoples trays at Carls Jr. Not me of course, but if your one of these people please read on about the trials of redemption and hope that are Tam is searching for. The thing is that Tam was always hated by his peers in the ally behind Wal-Mart. He had only lived there a short while but the high class hobos didn't appreciated Tam's flare for old thrown always 80's clothes that he had found in a black man's trash can the other night.
"So what you think that your too good for the everyday low prices of Wal-Mart?"
"No!, no I've never said that. I love you guys and the alley behind the Wal-Mart!"
"What did you just say? You dirty little black 80's fruit pie!"
"That I liked you?....Hey! I'm not black I just haven't had a bath in a few months, and these clothes make my butt look much more smaller and brings out the color in my black eye that I got while chasing a cat that I wanted to cook for some hobo stew, but instead ran into a mailbox and rolled over into the ditch and was almost brushed to death by the gutter cleaning machine that comes every Friday night around two A.M"
The two hobos went on for a sixteen more hours late into the night and by the end they had no idea what they were fighting over, but all they knew was that it ended in a long dirty (really dirty) passionate love making session. There were trench coats and old cheese all over the back ally when the two were finished. Yet when Tam awoke from his dirty slumber on a trash bag filled with old Chinese food from next door he found that he was all alone in the ally. Was it a dream? Tam thought to himself. But the dirty mayo love making was soo real to him that he could still tase the tangy Mircle Whip that was used during the hobo bobo bumping. Tam leaped into the air and proclamed that he will never be used in such a way that he was the other night again without first charing for the booty bumping.
"I Tam hear by will never give away my sweet, sweet relish tasting vanilla white loving again with out first getting money. Fool me once shame on you, fool me eight times shame on you, but fool me 34 times shame on ME!"
Tam had made his decision to become the first ever hobo to treck the face of the earth on only his good looks (only in his opinion) and his sexy charms. He tightened the vacuum cord around his waist and tied on his bread bag shoes and was off into the unknow world. The sun of a new chapter in his sad, pathetic, moldy, unwanted life was shinning somewhat brightly and Tam was off to an all new adventure. The shopping cart he had stolen from Wal-mart was loaded with his belongings of Coke cans and toilet paper (really newspaper he had taken from a donut shop) and it was off he went.
"It's gonna be good time sfrom now on! Everything is coming up Tam!"
"Shut up you dirty bum!"
"I love you too! Wow! even the people are cheering me on!"
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Watch Out Japan!
'Cause here I come!
This is a response to my friend Kris and his recent posting on his blog. That program almost sounds too good to be true. The thing that is going to happen is when we arrive there we will end up getting drugged and sold into male sex slave industry for the Japanese businessmen. Or not. That does sound like a good idea after getting out of college, and getting a chance to travel before we hit the work force. If this does work out it may be some good experience for all of us.
I can picture myself right now in the tiny Japanese apartments. I'll probably have to sleep standing up. Each time I turn around it will be anoter section of the apartment. The right is the bedroom, the left is the kitchen and behind me is the bathroom (but it has no bathtub cause it won't fit, so i'll have to hose myself infront of the apartments.)
This is a response to my friend Kris and his recent posting on his blog. That program almost sounds too good to be true. The thing that is going to happen is when we arrive there we will end up getting drugged and sold into male sex slave industry for the Japanese businessmen. Or not. That does sound like a good idea after getting out of college, and getting a chance to travel before we hit the work force. If this does work out it may be some good experience for all of us.
I can picture myself right now in the tiny Japanese apartments. I'll probably have to sleep standing up. Each time I turn around it will be anoter section of the apartment. The right is the bedroom, the left is the kitchen and behind me is the bathroom (but it has no bathtub cause it won't fit, so i'll have to hose myself infront of the apartments.)
Monday, March 14, 2005
Zombie Powder
Zombie Powder!! This was a great Manga by Tite Kubo also known for Bleach. The bad thing was that it was only 4 volumes long. I want to know what happens next! last volume left me wondering soo much. Mister Kubo you better get back to ZP and finish it up!
MOVIES!! ASIANS!! TELEVISION!!!
Don't you just like Asian movies better? All American films nowadays are basically the same w/ the same actors and all white people look the same to me, but then again all black, Hispanic, and Asian do to. The thing is that you just don't get to see Asian people as much as white people or even black people on TV. People who speak spanish get all these channels and even magazines on the stand before the checking out in a store, and even radio satations. Yet, Asian people are still stuck behind everyone else. I guess building that railrod for America wasn't enough huh? Funny how that it was back in the day where an Asian man would be arrested if he was to marry a white woman. LOL women are crazy in any color or race, so men one is just like the other and same goes for the fellas. So basically i'm saying that we should just do aways with marriage.
Back to TV I need some Asian people on TV PLEASE!! I sick of having to watch channel 18 to see asian people and not understand them because sometimes they don't have subtitles for me.
Maybe if I had more exposer to Asian people I would get all excited when I actually see them outside in public. lol I have the urge to follow them and make a big deal about it. Ohh why, ohh why?! I hate Asian people soo much, all those little beady eyes and little groups! ( can I join?) but no, seriously give me an asian family show. It can be something like Family Matters, but less black. Thank You
Have you seen the kids that are mixed with some vanilla? OMG! I hate them all lol... It seems that there look better then if there were just white or asian, but then the grow up all crazy and confused. I just hate them because I can't tell the difference if there one or the other. I guess they will be all Italian to me then if I can't tell the differnece.
"Well actually i'm White and Asian"
"well actually then you must be some kind of Italian"
"Actually I just staid that i'm..."
"DOn't start your dirty lies with me!"
"huh?! what the ..."
"Bitch!, ohh no you didn't, cause you about to get cut!"
"How did this happen? we started out talking about Chinese food"
Movies that I'm Waiting to see
Kung Fu Hustle-Stephen Chow
House of Fury- Daniel Wu
Initial D- Edison Chen
Memoirs of aGeshia- Ziyi Zhang
the list goes on, but i'm just gonna stop here because i'm tired of looking up how to spell the titles. I'm Asian, so I should be better at math but I suck in both. It's hard being beautiful isn't it? oh my, sorry. Only I would know. lol (I kidd, I kidd)
Back to TV I need some Asian people on TV PLEASE!! I sick of having to watch channel 18 to see asian people and not understand them because sometimes they don't have subtitles for me.
Maybe if I had more exposer to Asian people I would get all excited when I actually see them outside in public. lol I have the urge to follow them and make a big deal about it. Ohh why, ohh why?! I hate Asian people soo much, all those little beady eyes and little groups! ( can I join?) but no, seriously give me an asian family show. It can be something like Family Matters, but less black. Thank You
Have you seen the kids that are mixed with some vanilla? OMG! I hate them all lol... It seems that there look better then if there were just white or asian, but then the grow up all crazy and confused. I just hate them because I can't tell the difference if there one or the other. I guess they will be all Italian to me then if I can't tell the differnece.
"Well actually i'm White and Asian"
"well actually then you must be some kind of Italian"
"Actually I just staid that i'm..."
"DOn't start your dirty lies with me!"
"huh?! what the ..."
"Bitch!, ohh no you didn't, cause you about to get cut!"
"How did this happen? we started out talking about Chinese food"
Movies that I'm Waiting to see
Kung Fu Hustle-Stephen Chow
House of Fury- Daniel Wu
Initial D- Edison Chen
Memoirs of aGeshia- Ziyi Zhang
the list goes on, but i'm just gonna stop here because i'm tired of looking up how to spell the titles. I'm Asian, so I should be better at math but I suck in both. It's hard being beautiful isn't it? oh my, sorry. Only I would know. lol (I kidd, I kidd)
Saturday, March 12, 2005
A poll of the sexy kind.
Would the readers want a short story section titled "The HoboErotic Adventures"?
please leave a comment and your vote for a "yes" or "no"
I will leave the poll up till the end of the week and the decision will be made if I shall do a weekly short story.
please leave a comment and your vote for a "yes" or "no"
I will leave the poll up till the end of the week and the decision will be made if I shall do a weekly short story.
Online loneliness!
Hello all again. Here I am in front of the computer bored as hell. I've gone to all of my bookmarked sites and really running out of ideas of what to look up. (any suggestions?)
I got all dressed up today to get to the bank and it was freaking closed! who would of thought that it would be closed at 2p.m on Sat.? LOL it probably always has been closing at that time for years. I hate having to leave the house all the time, especially when its for a stupid reason as to doing little task and so on. The real reason is that I just hate having to drive. Why do the gas cost soooo freaking much? I think that it's probably Bush McBush. After the war your would think he would of taken all of the oil by now and the prices would go down. Or you would of though that instead of spending billions on the war that he would of just given it to me and say "ohh Richard my favorite Asian boy! Please take these few hundred billions I would of used on a retarded worthless war and get yourself a little something sexy." but noooo it was all used up and the country in now in an even bigger ass debt. LOL only four more years!
I should be really doing HW or studying right now but again it's Sat. and why do that and ruin my last day off? lol If I were one of them cooler kids I'd probably be out clubbin' or something and not home alone like always. Please someone save me from this!! I'll make it worth your wild... By baking you some cookies or something. I'll even use white chocolate! Oh yeah.. You know you want to take me out now huh? (soo sad)
I would like to thank my little Flippy friend KZ for giving me the inspiration to start my little own blog a MCJigger.
Oh KZ you so fine,
you so fine you blow my mind
GO KZ!!!
my own little cheer for KZ AKA Kris Zoleta is Betta than Chedda.
p.s KZ tie your hair in pigtails next week you will be the hot dog to the buns especially to Sam.
I got all dressed up today to get to the bank and it was freaking closed! who would of thought that it would be closed at 2p.m on Sat.? LOL it probably always has been closing at that time for years. I hate having to leave the house all the time, especially when its for a stupid reason as to doing little task and so on. The real reason is that I just hate having to drive. Why do the gas cost soooo freaking much? I think that it's probably Bush McBush. After the war your would think he would of taken all of the oil by now and the prices would go down. Or you would of though that instead of spending billions on the war that he would of just given it to me and say "ohh Richard my favorite Asian boy! Please take these few hundred billions I would of used on a retarded worthless war and get yourself a little something sexy." but noooo it was all used up and the country in now in an even bigger ass debt. LOL only four more years!
I should be really doing HW or studying right now but again it's Sat. and why do that and ruin my last day off? lol If I were one of them cooler kids I'd probably be out clubbin' or something and not home alone like always. Please someone save me from this!! I'll make it worth your wild... By baking you some cookies or something. I'll even use white chocolate! Oh yeah.. You know you want to take me out now huh? (soo sad)
I would like to thank my little Flippy friend KZ for giving me the inspiration to start my little own blog a MCJigger.
Oh KZ you so fine,
you so fine you blow my mind
GO KZ!!!
my own little cheer for KZ AKA Kris Zoleta is Betta than Chedda.
p.s KZ tie your hair in pigtails next week you will be the hot dog to the buns especially to Sam.
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